A Turning Page
by EdwardWatchesMeSleep
Summary: Dear Friend, It's been a week and I apologise for that. Things have gotten both good and bad again. It's definitely been a turning point for me: a turning page. As for the good news… there is a new student in my class. His name is Edward. Edward Cullen. SUMMARY INSIDE! ExB! Rated M for future lemons and a graphic scene. Some angst. Written in DIARY FORM!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

_**SUPER LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ!**_

***Okay, people, I'm back and my health is getting along, though not as swiftly as I'd like. I can't say that I'm well enough to continue writing my other stories, but like I said before, I will NOT abandon any of them. I care way too much, lol! **

**As for this new story, it has already been written and has been sitting on my laptop for the past few months, just waiting to be put up as fanfiction! I wanted to wait until my other stories were almost finished to post it, but since they are on a hiatus for a while, I decided to give you something else to read. This is a lot different from my other material but I hope you like it. It's an Irish Bella and IrishWard too, so I hope you like what my side of the water produces lol. I'll post a summary below to. I hope you like the first chapter.**

Summary

_Bella Swan is a sixteen year old, trying to find her place in the world when her teenage life is tarnished and all she knows and loves turns on her after a horrible accusation is made against her. She feels more alone than ever until a transfer student arrives in her class, working his charm and becomes her new companion. With the accusations made against her, Bella is afraid to let this boy, Edward, become something more than a friend she can confide in. The horrible things that have happened to her a night at a party become omnipresent in her mind, forcing her to be cautious with boys. Can she let Edward in and give herself the justice she deserves?_

_Rated M: Mature themed for future lemons (Irish Bella will be of age, ladies, I promise) and for disturbing scenes. It won't be too graphic, I promise you._

_Written in Diary Entries!_

A Turning Page.

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Dear whoever gets the chance to read this diary,

Sorry if I offended you by not calling you by your first or full name, it's just that I don't know who exactly I'm writing to just yet. I guess I will just have to settle with Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

I've made a promise to myself that before this year has ended, I would successfully have kept a diary for those 12 months and I plan to keep that promise. You may be wondering why I've made such an unusual promise but the truth is that after all my attempts of trying to keep a diary going for at least a month has been a failure for the most part. It's not that I didn't try- I really, really did try- it's just that I didn't have it in me to write about my life for 365 days a year. Also, with school and everything else going on in my "exciting, adventurous life" I simply forgot my duties of writing and gave up on the idea of keeping a diary after a couple of days. If I felt really motivated, I made it to a couple of weeks.

But I digress.

The real reason I wanted to keep this diary apart from wanting to stick with something and see it through, I wanted to tell someone about my days. It seems to me that no one in my life is prepared to listen to what I have to say. Now, don't get me wrong, my parents are wonderful people -My mother, Renee is loving, caring and does everything in her power to make sure everyone she loves has everything they need. She is the most selfless woman I know and I love her so, so much. My father, Charlie is the same, only he is more outgoing than she is. He is the adventurous one in our family; always up for having fun, very irresponsible when it comes to moral and financial decisions, but I love him regardless. However, they just don't seem eligible to listen to me and hear what I have to say. My opinions on things are something they tend to ignore. Once they hear the words "do you know what I don't understand?" or "do you know what I hate the most in this world?" my parents steer clear of me or make up an excuse as to why they can't have that kind of conversation at the moment. I understand that they have a busy life running a household and keeping food on the table but it would be nice if they actually debated on the topics I viewed as impotent and wrong.

My friends are another thing entirely.

I have a weird group of friends, to whom I love dearly. I have three friends who I can actually trust and I've known them for so long now, it's freaky how I haven't gotten tired of them yet, and vice versa. They say I can talk to them about anything and they will do anything for me, but they seem to have a limited idea of what they call "anything and everything". Their topics of discussion revolve around make-up, boys, clothes, parties, alcohol- literally everything I have no interest in what's so ever. Okay, now I'm being hypocritical. Yes, I do wear make-up and yes, I do find boys attractive, but that doesn't mean I have to talk about it daily. I have a habit of talking about boys who are fictional, rather than boys in real life actually...

You're probably wondering why I still hang around with my friends if we don't have anything in common, but they're all I have. I've known them too long and like them too much to just turn away over a few disagreements on topics to talk about. That would just be plain rude.

Do you know what else is plain rude? The fact that I haven't told you my name yet! I apologise profusely, Anonymous, my name is Isabella Swan, though I much prefer being called Bella. I am sixteen years old and am living in Dublin, Ireland. From the part of Dublin I come from, this style of writing I am typing in isn't the type you'd hear people speak around here. Words I've put to screen like "profusely" and "determined" are just a few of the words that would challenge people in my area on an intellectual level. To be honest, I'm not sure some people around here understand what I mean by the term "intellectual level". The area I'm living in contain teenagers who feel the need to do drugs and hang around the local shops, looking for the right person to steal from, which I don't understand at all. Where are their parents when this is going on?!

But once again, I digress.

If there is one thing you've noticed as you read this, it's that I can get off topic quite easily. What I mean by the people around here is that they don't seem motivated to do anything out of the ordinary or try new things. They are comfortable in what they have and don't bother changing or learning new things. The schools are poorly built and the teachers don't seem to care for their students at all, which doesn't exactly help the students want to make something of themselves either. It's just an endless cycle of laziness, boredom and filth. You might think I'm this bratty rich kid who went to a private school and pities those amongst me who don't have the privileges that I do, but that's not true at all. People around here would just rather get drunk and belt out a rap song in the middle of the road than read a good book and learn how to pronounce the 'T' and 'H' in 'The'. (Their common, thick Dublin accent makes it impossible in all fairness).

Maybe I should just tell you about my hobbies because this is just making me feel pitiful of those around me, and I don't want that, and those people sure as hell don't want it either. For starters, I like long walks on the beach and late night phone calls with my boyfriend… No, I'm joking. I actually hate the sand on the beach and I've never had a boyfriend long enough that actually meant enough to me that I would lose sleep over him. I actually like to read and listen to music- correction, I _love_ reading and listening to music- I'm a strong believer of music helping people with their problems and getting them through hard times because it has worked for me in the past. Music still helps me through hard times. I read to clear my head and take me away from places and situations I don't want to be in. Books are something I will always be thankful and grateful for. They are the only thing in my life that make me feel so many different emotions in the matter of a few pages; Excitement, jealousy, happiness, joy, and sadness and occasionally the inevitable sob fest when the heroin of the story is killed off and my reason of existence has left me.

My mother once walked into my room and found me crying on my bedroom floor clutching the tear stained pages of a novel and suggested that I should stop reading books since I got so emotionally attached to them.

But isn't that the beauty of books?

The stories held within them are meant to draw you in and take you to a world you wish exist, so during bad times, you think of those places and forget your worries for the time being, knowing you'll be safe in your imagination. Books have the power to make you feel both joyous and sad all at the same time. And it's extraordinary that we can cry over a book; it's probably the most prominent sign of compassion for humanity. You cry over someone you've never met before, someone who doesn't really exist and yet, we cry as if we've known them our whole lives. That's the beauty of books. Well, to me anyway.

I realise that I have gone off in a tangent and it is best if I just leave it there for the day. I promise I will be back tomorrow. And I have so much faith in my return since I chose to use my computer rather than a notebook. I can type much more than I can write.

Until tomorrow,

From,

Bella.

P.S. I would sign off with 'love Bella' but we're only getting to know one another, Anonymous. I don't want to push my luck.

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Dear Anonymous,

I've decided not to date my diary entries as I have a good enough memory to recall when I wrote them. Take my last entry for example. Remember when I wrote my feelings on books and what they meant to me? I've recently just finished an amazing book by an incredible author named John Green. _The Fault in Our Stars_ is a story that I truly believe will stick with me forever. One part in particular stood out and spoke to me the most. The girl in the story was describing her feelings on a book she enjoyed- keep in mind that the word 'enjoyed' is an understatement- and she described how that one book is something she would remember in her old age as an imprint to literature for years to come. The book she 'enjoyed' so much was called _An Imperial Affliction_.

Instead of explaining what she wrote, I'd rather type it out for you, word for word:

"_Sometimes you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back __together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books like An Imperial Affliction, which you can't tell people about, books so special and rare and _yours_ that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal."_

Those few lines affected me so much I had to stop reading for a second to think in complete and utter astonishment. The author got those last few words exactly right, that to this day, I still can't get over how accurate those words were. Personally, I've never read _An Imperial Affliction_ – mostly because it's not a real book- but I have my own _An Imperial Affliction_ that I can call _mine; _a story that is too special to share with others. And I think _The Fault in Our Stars _is another book I can add to that category.

I realise this entry has nothing to do with the things I've done today but I promise I will be back tomorrow with news on my life and daily routine. Also, tomorrow is Monday, so I can rant about school to you as well. Yay!

Sensing my sarcasm?

From,

Bella.

P.S The heroin of _An Imperial Affliction_ has the same first name as I. What a coincidence.

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Dear Anonymous,

Today dragged in. I woke up late, had to skip breakfast to make it in time for school and got yelled at by the teachers because of my lateness. My first class was history, so I didn't mind it so much, if I didn't loathe the topic we were learning about. The Industrial Revolution is not a period in history I have tolerance for what's so ever, nor will it ever be something I can tolerate. I'd rather talk, write and listen to words about WW1 than machines and factories built in England.

English is my favourite subject, mainly because it's the only subject I get an A in. I share that class with my closest friends, Jessica, Angela and Lauren whom I have mentioned before.

Jessica is the mean one in our little group. She's a total bitch to everyone that comes in her path and if there is any gossip to be heard around the school, she'd be the first to hear it and spread the news like wildfire. Her bitch tendencies tend to get her into trouble, but with everyone fearing her in our school; it puts me out of harm's way. She talks about everything and everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if she was talking about _me _right now. Her curly, brown hair was always knotting and full of hairspray. One time my charm bracelet got caught in one of her ringlets and she wouldn't' talk to me for a week because in order to get the damn bracelet out, I had to cut the fucking strand of hair. The girl was totally psycho, but the other girls liked her so she stayed.

Angela was the quiet one in our group, if you counted me out. Her long, sleek brown hair was unnaturally shiny and always pin straight. I envied that one triat of her. She loved heavy metal music, something I didn't understand and the girls hated her for it. She was super thin and had the horrible case of having 'two backs'. In case you're wondering, that's a term us Irish gals use when a girl has a flat chest, looking more like a back than a set of tits. Poor Angela had to go through school with no rack to show off for the boys. Although, I always spotted little Ben in math glass ogling her like a piece of meat, so I guess she was getting somewhere. She was the kindest girl in our group; she never had anything bad to say about anyone, no matter how rude people were about her lack of breasts. I loved her the most.

Lauren was what I called 'judgement day'. If there was anyone to judge within a mile radius, Lauren was there to snatch the victim right up in her manicured claws. She had sleek blond hair, the only one of us without the brunette gene. She had the biggest breast size out of us all, snatching all the boys and all of Jessica's jealousy. She loved being centre of attention and would rather have all the boys chasing her and all the girls hating her rather than a group of real friends. She'd drop our group in a flash for popularity. Our school wasn't one for cliques, but our group was the only group deemed popular. It made me feel both superior and wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.

Regardless of all those things, I wouldn't have them any other way. I loved my friends for their flaws and everything else that makes them who they are.

School went on for what felt like eternity but when the bell finally rang at four o'clock, I was grateful. We four friends made plans to meet up on Wednesday, as that was the day our school got a half day (One of the perks of being in secondary school in Ireland).

We always had to make these plans in school or over Facebook because I was the only one who didn't have a phone and they never wanted to exclude me. They liked having me around. I know it may sound weird that a sixteen year old girl didn't have a phone, but it was true. I've never had a phone, nor do I plan on getting one any time soon. I mean, what was the point? People spend more time on the internet messaging friends on social networking sites anyway, so if they needed me, they could mail me there. Owning a phone seems like a hassle, so I just didn't have one. Enough said.

The pile of homework I got today didn't exactly help that the day was dragging in, but I got it done anyway, not caring how messy my writing was. This is why I love typing on my laptop. I don't have to worry about how neat my writing is, what mistakes I make in pen, or anything else like that. Effects can be created on a laptop, writing can increase or decrease in size, _italics_ and **bold** can be used to emphasise what I'm explaining and the layout can be used to fit my preference. That's why I love typing, to be honest.

In case you were wondering, Lauren, Jessica and Angela and I made plans to go the mall and then to the local library to study on Wednesday. The second part of our journey was the one I was actually looking forward to the most. My friends usually go to the shopping centre to look for boys and judge girls who pass by. It's pathetic, I know but I kept my mouth shut regardless. I didn't want to lose my friends. Thinking back to a class I had with one of my boy friends today, I recalled him telling me that I didn't gossip at all about any other girl, or anyone for that matter. And I guess he was right in some sense. I never judged like all the other girls in our year. I should probably mention that my friends name is Mike. I didn't gossip about other people like everyone else in my class, as I didn't see the point. Why should I point out someone else's flaws when I had my own insecurities?

I heard girls snicker and giggle in class about others, but I've never met or heard of anyone as cruel as my best friends. Especially Lauren; she is one of the most judgemental people I know, though I still stick up and defend for her. Maybe that makes me horrible too, writing about her and defending her now. Huh, I never thought as writing a diary that involved others as gossip. I've known Lauren most of my life too. I know her inside and out. The girls she talks about are girls who pass her by in the street, names not ever exchanged. That's totally different to what I'm doing right now, isn't it? Maybe it's not, but I'm just describing Lauren here more clearly. She is nice to me, so I guess that's why I like her. Although she probably talks about me behind my back too; maybe all my friends do…

I stopped sleeping over in her house though, whenever she called for a 'best friend' sleepover, because every time we all got together, they'd sit on the laptop all night, looking through girls' pictures online, giggling away and pointing out flaws covering some innocent girls' features. Whenever I'd try to intrude, saying that her nose wasn't that big and her eyes are actually beautiful, they'd look at me like I'd just grown ten heads, so I'd just continue reading or watching TV whilst they carried on teasing.

It's quite sad, isn't it? Why girls feel the need to point out every single flaw of another girl, just to make them feel better. Take Angela for instance. She is beautiful, I can't name anything wrong with her appearance (leaving out her two backs) but she still insists that her thighs are huge and that there are so many spots and pimples covering her forehead. I don't think she realises that being a teenager is an open invitation to pimples and blemishes. No matter how many times I tell her she is skinny, she denies it, blaming school, exams and food for being in her way. It's stressing me out now just thinking about it.

Yes, I understand that girls see imperfections on their body whilst all an outsider sees is perfection. I think my lips are lopsided sometimes and that my hips are too wide, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go change it. Aren't women supposed to have wide hips to carry a baby? And maybe my lips are just stuck that way because I'm frowning too much, worrying about said flaws.

Okay, Anonymous, I'm going to type something that I strongly believe in. Are you ready?

Imperfection is beauty.

I strongly believe in what I've just written, it's just getting others to believe it that's difficult. And with that, I leave this topic and move on to another.

Mike.

I love him so much. I'm not _in _love with him I just feel like he's a great friend. When I'm not with my girlfriends, I'm hanging with Mike and his boys. I have to say that I get on a lot more with boys then I do with girls.

Mike is tall, muscular and has the most beautiful eyes in the universe. They are so blue, like the Mediterranean Sea. His smile is infectious, as is his laugh but his personality is my favourite thing about him. He's into watching sports, but doesn't play himself. He would rather scream at the players on TV rather than scream at his team mates on the pitch. He's brilliant at math but cannot stand algebra. Also, he hates cats. As do I. My mother thinks he and I would be perfect together, but I don't see what she sees. I see Mike as a friend I never want to lose. I hope he feels the same.

Okay, I think that's enough talk for one day. I'll be back tomorrow with some more 'spectacular' news on my 'extraordinary' life.

Until then,

Bella.

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**A/N**

**Short and totally non Edward related, but it will take some time before he is introduced to this story. Bear with me! Bella isn't fully introduced yet, either, but you'll find her along the way;)**

**Reviews are love, so give me love!**

**Love, Meg!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Thanks to everyone who favourite this little story and put it on alert. It means so much right now.**

_Rated M: Mature themed for future lemons and for disturbing scenes. It won't be too graphic, I promise you._

_Written in Diary Entries!_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I know that and so do you. I'm just dabbling in her wonderful creation.

*****READ WITH CAUTION*** **

I promised you, it won't be graphic.

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Dear Anonymous,

Do you ever think about death? This is a weird way to start a diary entry, but still a valid question to ask… and to answer. I was lying in bed last night listening to my iPod when a Kings of Leon song came on, which got me thinking about death. It was unusual because the song had nothing to do with the topic. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that every time I lay down to sleep, my mind was suddenly on alert, thinking back to memories I'd rather forget.

I heard my mother, Renee talking to my father, Charlie about the death of a woman she used to know earlier on that day. She was upset, but not enough to cry or mourn over the loss of an old friend. My mother did say that she wished she had spent more time with the woman who passed; but that maybe it was better that she didn't have to feel the pain of losing a close friend. That got me thinking a lot too.

What if I lost a close friend tonight? What if my parents got a phone call saying that Angela had passed away in her sleep, or Jessica got hit by a car and died fatally? How would I react? What if I went in to school and found my three best friends crying over the death of Mike? What would I do? What _could _I do? Sometimes I wished that I would lose someone to an accident, just to feel the pain that people talked about in movies and in novels. I know these thoughts seem very morbid and messed up, but their thoughts I need to get out there, even if 'out there' just means on the screen of my laptop.

I'd like to experience death in the way I never have before. Too many people suffer the excruciating pain of losing a loved one, and that's something I envy. It's sick and disturbing that I would want to lose someone I love, but it's just how I feel. I want to experience a feeling I've never felt before, is that so bad? I want to wake up and feel the pain you want to numb it's that unbearable.

Maybe I'm just going insane with lack of sleep, or maybe I'm just messed up beyond repair. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that I think these things.

From,

Bella.

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Dear Anonymous,

I apologise if my entry the other night upset you in any way. I wasn't in the right state of mind to be writing to you. I haven't been sleeping well since. And I'm sorry I haven't written to you for three days, my mind is crazy right now.

I spent my half day from school with my friends yesterday, like I planned to do on Monday. It was good, I guess. We had fun. Well, I had fun in the library, reading, whilst the girls enjoyed the shopping centre. I rented out some books too, which was a terrible idea, because when I rented books out I never want to return them. If they were good enough, I'd return them and run to my local book store to buy my own personal copy to keep with me forever.

My best friends teased girls who walked by them in the shopping centre and giggled when boys looked at them, blushing like crazy. It was cute and endearing but annoying when they got too embarrassed and hurried away, squealing rather than starting a conversation with the boy. They were so confusing; no wonder they never got boyfriends.

I got some studying done in the library too, which helped a lot because I always got distracted with my laptop when I was home. My mother always stressed that I wasn't studying enough, but my father couldn't really care less. He says good grades don't matter anymore, since there are no jobs in the country regardless. Whether or not I go to college and make something of myself, I'm better off emigrating in order to get a job. But isn't that increasing the chances of recession in another country if I leave? Sometimes, I don't understand my parents. And sometimes I wished I wasn't an only child.

I get lonely sometimes, you know? Even when I'm surrounded by friends I feel alone… weird isn't it? To be in a room full of people- people I've known my whole life- and still feel alone and afraid to trust them at all. I sometimes wonder if I have trust issues, or maybe it's just engraved in me not to let anyone in.

Maybe I'm better off alone; me, my music and my books.

The perfect combination, don't you think?

From,

Bella.

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Dear Anonymous,

It's Friday, so that has lightened my mood a little bit. School was the same as always, only today, less homework was given, which had everyone more excited than usual for the weekend. Also, a girl in my class, Kate, is throwing a party tonight for her birthday, and I was invited. And I _wanted_ to go. Usually, I put off going out and socialising with people, mostly because I didn't want to put any effort in to making new friends. I had my friends and I was happy with what I had. But tonight, I decided it was time for change. I needed to meet new people, put myself out there, and explore the world teenagers lived in today. I was upsetting my mother staying in every day anyway, even though she loved how I was putting my time to good use: reading and revising for my exams.

The party starts at eight, so Laurent, Jessica and Angela are coming over at six o'clock to pick out clothes to wear. It was decided that the process of getting ready should be a group affair and we should all put in some effort in helping one another look good. This is the first time I've ever heard of such a thing. Do girls really do this before they go out at night? Choose a destination, help one another pick out provocative clothing to wear and pile on mounds of make-up until they looked caked? If this is what teenagers today are doing with their lives, then maybe I shouldn't explore this world…

From,

Bella.

P.S I'll write to you about how tonight goes tomorrow, okay? Got to go, bye!

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Dear Anonymous,

I am sad. Not the kind of sad where I lose my favourite pair of shoes, or the sad where my dog just died, but the kind of sad where I feel like nothing and no one can help me. The sad where you want to lock yourself away in your room for a month until you feel strong enough to pretend to your parents that you're fine when really you want to die inside. Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe it's actually a perfect description of how I'm feeling.

I guess I should find the source of my sadness, which means I have to talk about last night. Well, the most I can remember of it anyway.

Last night started off great.

The girls came over to my house right on schedule, causing a ruckus as per usual as they ransacked my wardrobe for clothes I could wear to make my "arse look out of this world" as Lauren had said. Jessica helped curl my hair and Angela applied my make-up layer by layer. I felt like I was suffocating until finally they told me to get dressed in what looked like a hooker's best and worst outfit for a night out on the town. I didn't argue though. I just did what they said and put on the clothes. When we were all ready, we left the house at half past eight, since no one arrives early at a party, unless you're the loser of the group.

My parents weren't home so they couldn't see the abomination of our outfits, thank God, but they did leave me a note saying I had to be home by eleven thirty, which to the girls, was the earliest time to leave a party. But to me, I was grateful. I kind of hoped they would force me home earlier, but since it was a Friday, I think they felt generous. Anyway, Kate's house wasn't far from mine so we walked all the way, talking about who might be there and whether or not any of us would meet a boy tonight.

I was kind of nervous because I've only ever kissed two boys in my life and that was before I even knew what a dick was used for besides urinating. I got butterflies in my stomach, both from excitement and nerves, as this was my first official party. I was invited to many parties over the years, but always declined, either too afraid to greet new people or too nervous to even consider the idea of wearing something as ridiculous as what I was wearing now. I kind of had to thank the girls for forcing me into this. I needed the confidence.

"Are you drinking tonight, Bella?" Lauren asked me, grinning from ear to ear.

I shook my head quickly. I didn't want to go home to my parents and find the look of disappointment etched on their faces when they smelled the alcohol off my clothes- not to mention the looks on their faces when they saw the actual clothes I had on-

"Well, I am!" Jessica smirked. "I haven't had a drink since that party two weeks ago. That shows some restraint on my behalf!" I forced myself not to roll my eyes. God, she was barely seventeen and she was already acting like not having alcohol in her system was a bad thing.

"I think I'll hold off for tonight," Angela mumbled, and I was grateful. She was usually the one with the stories of her drunken escapades. And I wanted someone to stay sober with me tonight.

"Suit yourself girls," Lauren winked. I just nodded back to her.

When we finally reached Kate's house, it was already full to the brim. Her parents weren't home, she explained and a lot more people turned up than expected. She thinks someone advertised the party online which seemed to work since there were so many people there. The party had to be moved to the back garden too, which disrupted the neighbours. But Kate didn't seem to mind, for she was already looking quite intoxicated, with a bottle of Smirnoff in her hands.

The lights in the kitchen were switched off entirely and were replaced with a strobe light and disco ball. Chris Brown was blearing from the radio and people were dancing at every turn. It was a hassle getting through the front door. When I watched parties being thrown on TV in American movies, I expected them to be exaggerated but Kate's house was a perfect example of an American movie about a party that gets way out of hand. This party was insane.

I lost Lauren and Angela in a matter of minutes as they went off to greet people at the party. Jessica grabbed a bottle of beer and took a swig, smiling at me as she stood by my side, grinding her hips in time with the song playing. I was surprised Angela left with Lauren. Wasn't she supposed to be the sober one with me? I was thankful I still had Jessica. But as the night went on, I soon lost her to alcohol and a boy in the kitchen that had quickly morphed into a dance floor. The dining table and chairs had been cleared out of the way to make room for more dancing drunken teenagers, which didn't help me as all I wanted to do was sit down. I did dance with Jessica and some other random girl for a while before I lost them both. I never got to get a look at the boy who stole my best friend, since the lights were cut off and the strobe only let me catch a glimpse of his tall figure.

I spotted Mike at one point and we talked for a while until the loud music got in the way. His whole face lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when he saw me, it was adorable but sickening at the same time. It was like he was waiting for me to turn up. When I felt uncomfortable enough to be excused, I quickly made my escape upstairs to the bathroom. My face felt all sticky and sweaty, but when I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I found that my make-up wasn't sweaty or oily at all. It was exactly as it was a few hours ago when I first left my house.

The door handle rattled and I gasped when a tall boy came barging into the bathroom, grinning lazily as he almost fell. "Wow there," I said, holding him up before he had the chance to fall. The smell of alcohol off him was shocking my senses. Whew, this fucker smelled horrid!

"Oh, I'm sorry, gorgeous, I didn't mean to startle you!" he slurred, still grinning. When he managed to stay upright on his own, he finally spoke. "I didn't know the bathroom was occupied. I'm sorry." How he managed to get those words out without having any trouble is beyond me. He was drunker than drunk.

"It's okay, just don't do it again," I mumbled, loud enough so he could hear me over the pounding music.

"So what's your name?" he asked.

God, couldn't we do this elsewhere? Like, not in a bathroom, all alone where people couldn't hear or see us?

"Um, Bella… what's yours?"

"James!" he almost yelled. I cringed.

Then silence fell upon us, for which I was so grateful. I took advantage of it almost immediately. "Well, I'm gonna go back downstairs"-

"What's the rush?" James interrupted, placing himself in front of the door, blocking me from leaving.

I began to grow nervous, my palms sweating as they rubbed against my clothes.

"Eh, I just need to get back to my friends. They must be looking for me, I've been gone a while," I lied through my teeth. I needed to make him believe that I was being looked for and worried for. I kind of needed to believe it too.

"Ah, I'm sure they know you're safe. You are safe, you know that don't you?"

_No_.

"Yeah, obviously," I laughed it off, my heart beginning to pound in my chest.

"Good," then James advanced towards me, his eyes staring at my body like it was a desert made especially for him.

"What are you?"-

"Shh."

"Stop!" I cried.

But he didn't. James kept moving forward, swaying a little until I was pressed up against the sink and officially trapped. Now I began to panic. Before I could even attempt to scream for help, his lips were on mine, bashing against them, silencing me at once. I moaned in disgust against him, which seemed to only egg him on further. I did my best to push away, pulled at his hair, slapped his chest, but that only fuelled his desire, pressing me hard against the sink, hands roaming over my body and I cursed the clothes I put on tonight. I cursed them to the fiery pits of hell! Tears of pain sprang to my wide eyes, pouring down my cheeks.

The music thumped around us, a song I recognised as Beyoncé. I heard everyone cheer at the great song choice and I cried harder, knowing that they wouldn't hear my pleas. James' hands moved forcefully to trap my own, so that when he pressed his hips against mine, and tugged away pieces of my clothing, I couldn't do anything to stop him.

Suddenly the door burst open and Jessica was standing in the doorway, eyes wide and glaring, mouth agape in shock. "What is _this_?!" she screeched, grabbing James and throwing him off me. I gasped for breath, thankful for my best friend, and sobbed out her name.

"You're one shitty fucking friend, Bella!" she cut me off, eyes full of anger.

"W-what?" I sputtered, taken aback.

"You just can't stand the fact that I got a boy tonight and you didn't so you decide to steal mine from me?! That's disgusting!" Oh God, this was the boy she was dancing with!

"Jacob is _mine, _Anna!"

_Jacob_?

"You told me your name was James!" I shouted, pointing a finger at _James _who was lying on the floor, staring up at Jessica and me.

"Oh, did he now? Well, since you know each other so well, maybe I should leave you both alone," Jessica started.

"No!" I screeched. "No, Jessica, I didn't know who he was! You don't understand, Jess, he tried to"-

"Don't give me an excuse, Bella. You are _not _my friend, do you hear me? What happened to '_sisters before misters'_? You're just a slut in reality, Anna; a big fat, lying slut. Fucking go to hell!"

That was the last I seen of Jessica that night. But once she passed the stairs, I spotted Mike in the hall, eyes wide and staring, in total disbelief of what just happened.

"Mike, you can't believe her," I sobbed. "H-he, James or Jacob tried to… he tried t-to"-

"Did you know I liked you, Bella?" he interrupted.

I paused. "I'm sorry?"

"I liked you. A lot. I never told you because I was afraid you didn't like me back. I guess I got my answer now…"

"No, Mike, I didn't- this isn't what"-

"Don't spout that shit to me, Bella. I know what this is. You'd rather be fucked in the bathroom at a party rather than be with me. Just shut up and save yourself another argument."

"No, Mike, wait!" That was the last time I seen and spoke to Mike that night too.

When I left a now sleeping or unconscious James/Jacob on the bathroom floor, I hurried downstairs to find the two girls that could only help me right now, but Jessica had already beaten me to it. Angela and Lauren were both glaring at me once they saw me in the kitchen. Then Lauren mouthed the word 'slut' and my heart dropped into my stomach.

I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't stay there any longer, I could hardly breathe, so I grabbed my coat, didn't bother saying goodbye to Kate and quickly ran all the way home. My parents weren't too happy with the time I returned and were definitely not impressed with my choice of clothing. So now, I was grounded for three days for my lateness and 'slutty attire'. When my mother used that word on me, I literally wanted to die in that moment. I thought I had heard the word 'slut' enough times that night.

I tried calling Lauren off my mother's phone, and messaging Jessica through Facebook, but neither of them returned the message. I would try with Angela but I knew she would ignore me the same way.

I will try talking things out with Jennifer in school on Monday. I would try sort things through now if I wasn't grounded, but life wasn't made to be easy. I can't even think about talking to Mike right now. I needed to take things one at a time. I barely processed the fact that he had developed feelings for me long enough for the idea of us two being together to be smashed into a million pieces.

I just hope things will return back to normal. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my best friends.

Love,

Bella.

P.S Did you notice the little 'love Bella' up there? I decided that as a back-up, I would use you as a friend. Maybe I should change your name from Anonymous to 'friend' also… We'll see how things turn out.

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Dear Friend,

As you can see, it is Monday night and I've now switched your name from Anonymous to Friend. You can take that as a sign that today's talk with Jessica did not go as planned. She would barely look at me, let alone talk to me. Angela and Lauren weren't much help either. They had chosen their side and so now I was alone. There wasn't much a difference with Mike either. He just acted as though I never existed. When I got home from school and checked my Facebook, an answering message from Jessica was waiting in my inbox. I opened it up as quickly as I could:

**Facebook Messenger**:

**Bella Swan**: Jessica, please hear me out. I hate to do this over Facebook, but I'm grounded and I have a feeling you don't want to talk to me face to face, so here it goes. Firstly, you're my fucking best friend; I would never stoop so low as to go after some boy you like. And if you knew me at all, you would know that too. Secondly, that boy, Jacob/James, whatever his name was, came on to _me_. I was hiding away in the bathroom because I wasn't feeling too good and he came barging in, locked the door behind him and started talking. I was so uncomfortable near him, I wanted to puke. I tried to leave and even tried calling for your help, but the music was so loud, no one could hear me. Jacob/James stood in the way of the door, pushed me against the sink and forced himself on me. I know this is hard to believe, but it's true, you have to believe me! I think… I know it's horrible to accuse him of it but… I think he was going to rape me. It was me in the situation, and that's what it felt like, so please don't judge me on the fact that I just accused that boy of something horrific. I would much rather apologise to you face to face, but I'd rather do it when _you _want to hear it. Please, Jessica, I don't want to lose you… x

**Jessica Stanley**: Accusing him of rape? Seriously? That's lower than low, even for you, Bella. An innocent girl wouldn't have to beg for forgiveness. I know you're sorry and I know you were my best friend. Doesn't change a thing. Sorry.

,

***reply here***

And that was it.

"_Doesn't change a thing. Sorry"_

Really? How many years have we been friends? It wasn't even the fact that she didn't believe me that had me so upset. It was the fact that she used "were" as a reference to being my best friend. "You _were _my best friend." As in no longer best friends. This day couldn't get any worse. I just hope after a few days, she would realise how much she misses me and apologise, and vice versa. Please say this happens.

Love,

Bella.

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**A/N**

**I hope this wasn't too graphic, I tried to downplay it and I think I succeeded. Edward will be introduced soon, I promise. Not long now;)**

**Reviews are love, so please give me love! Thank you all once again! I should be able to update on Wednesday if I'm not too busy at recovering…**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Thanks to everyone who favourite this little story and put it on alert. It means so much right now.**

_Rated M: Mature themed for future lemons._

_Written in Diary Entries!_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I know that and so do you. I'm just dabbling in her wonderful creation.

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* * *

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Dear Friend,

Today wasn't any better than yesterday, or Saturday. I'm having these horrible nightmares about James/Jacob and no matter what I do; they just won't exit my thoughts. I dream that I'm back in the bathroom with him, but Jessica does not come to my rescue this time, and things go further than they already had. I wake up sweating and shaking multiple times in the night. I hate it. I hate that I can't stop thinking about it. Jessica must have told Angela and Lauren about my message on Facebook because the dirty looks they gave me during registration class was frightening. They looked like a pack of lions waiting to pounce on their prey. I hurried out of class the moment the bell rang.

I sat alone now during classes and at lunch time. Sometimes I just walked home for lunch when I wasn't up for being alone. My father worked night shifts so he was home during the day and the school was close enough so that I wouldn't be late returning. One of the few good things about schools in Ireland was that they weren't like American high schools I see in movies where people were categorized into different cliques. We were all equal in our class. No group of friends were classed as 'geeks' 'nerds' 'losers' or 'jocks'. We were all the same; we all just had our own circle of friends. So when I was excluded from the only group people deemed as 'popular' no one differentiated between us. No one called me a loner. I was just me. Bella. And I was so thankful for that.

Just to keep some shard of hope and motivation, I'm going to say that tomorrow is going to be much better than the last few days. So yes, friend, tomorrow will be better for me. It will. I swear.

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

I've given up on the whole idea of hope and the fact that the days will get better because they aren't and they won't. The nightmares haven't stopped and somehow, the word got out of my accusation of Jacob/James being an attempted rapist. Either the girls I called my best friends or the boy I called a close friend spread the rumour. As the word spread, it morphed into a game of Chinese Whispers and different endings were created. Some not any better than the last and some so disgusting and horrific, I could barely type the words.

I'm sorry but I don't think I can type anything more now. At least not until I get my head straight. I'll be back to normal in a couple of days, I promise you, friend.

I have to be.

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

It's been a week and I apologise for that. Things have gotten both good and bad again. It's definitely been a turning point for me: a turning page. The bad news is that I haven't told my parents about anything that has been going on and I don't plan to. They are completely oblivious to the things I'm going through and I'm kind of angry with them because of it. Shouldn't they ask about my well-being? It doesn't matter if I don't want to tell them about my life, it still mattered to me that they actually cared enough to ask. Yes, I am terrified that some of the 'one too many' rumours would reach their ears and get me into deeper trouble than I already was, but I was more upset that they didn't notice anything was wrong. Another bad thing is that my class has officially turned their backs on me. The only people who will talk to me normally are my teachers and they mostly just pity me. But I don't want their pity. I don't even want their help. I just wanted it all to stop.

As for the good news… there is a new student in my class. His name is Edward. Edward Cullen. He moved here from his old estate and transferred schools because he felt that he wasn't getting the right amount of education in that area. I literally had to snort when he told the class this. I hated to break it to him, but he wasn't going to get any better here.

Anyway, here's what I noticed about Edward during his four days in my class.

Edward was very tall. His brown hair was always messy, like he never took the time to run a comb through it, though his uniform was always crisp clean and tidy. His eyes were the brightest shade of green; light, colourful and so, so beautiful. Whenever he received a compliment from a group of girls who passed him by in the halls, he would always return the favour by flashing them a smirk that always made them giggle and blush like the schoolgirls they were. It was endearing and quite charming to witness. The last thing I noticed about Edward Cullen was that he was very smart. I was in most of his classes, except for Irish. I wasn't in the highest class like he was. I just couldn't grasp the language, regardless of my heritage.

Its English class where he shines the brightest just like me. His views on authors and poets we were studying, the arguments he had with the teacher that flew back and forth, his love for the novels we read and poems we recited… all of it. And I realise that I like Edward Cullen. I really,_ really_ like him for all those reasons I just listed above. But most of all, the reason I liked him so much was because he didn't care for the rumours about me and what they meant. I was kind of hoping the rumours wouldn't reach his innocent ears, but that was inevitable in my school. Gossip always found a way to get around.

Today was the day he heard about that night in Kate's:

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Natalie, but why are you telling me this?" I heard Edward question in registration class. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but when I heard my name being called, I knew it wasn't the teacher. Natalie was telling Edward about me.

"Eh, I thought you might want to know the filth we have in this class," Natalie retorted.

_Ouch_.

"I'm sorry, but I don't even know this girl, and maybe you don't either," Edward continued and I heard the faint sound of the 'T' and 'H' being pronounced at every turn which made me smile a little. Maybe I wasn't the only 'common' Dubliner in this area of town who pronounced those words correctly.

"Oh, I know _Bell__a_," Natalie sneered and my smile disappeared almost as quickly as it came. "I've been in her class for three years now"-

"But do you _know _her?" Edward interrupted once again.

"Well, I can't say that I've hung around with her or anything"-

"Well, neither have I, therefore I cannot form an opinion of her just yet. So maybe you should think about how your words affect others before you speak."

The bell rang and I quickly got up to leave for my first class which was English thankfully, but before I could escape, I heard the sound of my name and 'slut' being called straight after. I cringed, but kept walking, head held high.

"Now that's just fucking rude… Bella! Bella, wait for me, will you?!" I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face the new boy who was racing to catch up to me. When he was standing right in front of me- more like towering over me- I looked up to find him smiling.

"Hey," he smirked and my heart fluttered in my chest.

"Hey," I whispered and then cleared my throat. "Hey," I repeated much clearer.

He just laughed. "You're in my English class, yeah?" I nodded, biting my lip nervously. "Come on, I'll walk with you."

Let me just remind you that I haven't walked beside someone on the way to class in over a week and a half now. This was officially foreign to me.

Not wanting to be a buzz kill, I decided to strike up a conversation. "Eh, so do you like your new school?"

Edward Cullen shrugged. "I've only been here a few days; I'll let you know once my exam results come through."

I laughed. "It's not just the school's responsibility to make sure you do well in your exams. You need to work for yourself too and study hard. I learned that the hard way last year."

"Wise words for a wise girl," he murmured, smiling down at me.

I looked away quickly, feeling embarrassed. "You don't know if I'm wise. Like you said, you've just been here a few days; you can't base your decision on a little observation now, can you?"

"That right there is how I know you're smart."

"You said wise," I stated.

"Same difference"-

"Not really," I smirked, looking back at him.

He just shook his head, chuckling. I laughed along with him. Then we reached our English class. We were a couple of minutes late, but our teacher didn't mind, although the rest of the class sure did. Everyone present snapped their heads towards us, Jessica, Angela and Lauren shooting daggers when they saw my smile and who it was responsible for. I felt kind of smug knowing that they were annoyed by my happiness and the fact that it was Edward who made that emotion present.

"Please sit down and take your homework out on The Merchant of Venice," Mister Byrne ordered and we quickly did as he said. I took my seat up the front- the furthest from the three girls at the back- and Edward wavered for a minute at the door before he decided to plant his bum right next to me at the desk.

"Why the sudden change in seats, Edward?" Mister Byrne questioned.

"Oh, I couldn't really see the white board from my other seat," Edward explained, eyes full of innocence.

Mind you, that seat was only in the second row.

Mr Byrne just smiled knowingly and started talking about what scene we were on in the play and the significance of that specific scene and how it would help us in our exam to write about it. I tuned out for a moment just to sneak a peek at Edward and found he was looking right back at me, smiling until he gave me a quick wink and turned straight back to Mr Byrne.

I couldn't focus for that entire class.

The day carried on and when lunch came, Edward asked if I wanted to sit with him. I quickly declined, knowing who he usually sat with and said that I went home to eat nowadays. He nodded, said his goodbye and that was that. But it wasn't. I kept thinking of registration class and how he defended me before really getting to know me. And Edward still didn't know me at all. He didn't know what I liked, what music I listened to, my hobbies, my favourite colour… he knew nothing about me… and yet he still felt the need to defend me.

I never knew there were such genuine people out there. Maybe there is hope for me this year after all.

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

For the first time since returning to school, the days have actually quickened and have been… fun. I'm not saying everything is dandy and grand, I'm just saying things have been… better for me. And Edward is a big part of it. Ever since the day he defended me during registration, he has walked with me to the classes we shared and has always offered to sit with me at lunch time, to which I always declined sadly, as all I wanted to do was sit with him during lunch and laugh with him and listen to his sarcastic remarks about anything and everything. But I didn't. Instead, I ate lunch at home, grumbling under my breath, much to my father's annoyance. He hated when I mumbled incoherently. But no matter how much it got under his skin, he never asked once what I was upset about. He just made himself a sandwich and said he was off to the office. Good riddance, I guess.

I should probably mention what my parents do for a living. My father works at some company that deals with imports and exports, which takes up most of his time. He usually works nights but when he's particularly stressed, he makes up some excuse to go to the 'office'. To be honest, I don't even think he has an office. As for my mother, she works in fashion. She designs and teaches new born designers in the business. Her job pays a lot more than my father's. I guess my father enjoyed the fact that I came home at lunch time instead of spending their money on the canteen food.

But I digress.

I wanted to spend more time with Edward, but I just didn't know how. I just needed to pluck up the courage to ask him. That's it. I just needed to ask him if he liked the idea of spending more time with me… but in a much smoother way of course. It couldn't be all that bad, Friend.

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

It was bad. And by bad I mean really fucking awkward and weird. I've never asked a boy out before and I was slightly scared of the outcome. I asked Edward to hang out with me sometime outside of school, but not as like, a 'date' or anything, but just as friends. I don't think I could handle a date even if I wanted to. I was having a hard time being his friend, let alone trying to be his _girlfriend. _When I asked on Thursday during English class, he was all for the idea of spending more time with me. He actually looked excited!

"Yeah, I definitely I do, Bella! When will this be happening, may I ask?" Edward grinned.

"Eh, whenever you want, I suppose," I said, "whenever you can make time for me."

"Ah, I'll always have time for you, Bella, don't you worry," And he gave me that wink again that made me swoon. "So, how about tomorrow night?" he suggested.

Lads, that was quick. "Uh, yeah, sounds great!"

"You don't sound as enthusiastic," he noticed. "Am I being too sudden?"

Oh bless his cotton socks. "No, no, I'm just surprised at how excited you are just to spend time with me," I confessed in a low voice.

He was quiet for a moment. "What makes you think otherwise? I like you, Bella Swan. I like being around you so don't ever doubt that."

Yes, Edward Cullen had a way with words.

So that Friday, we made plans to meet up at around six o'clock at the old park near my house. I would have done the normal thing like invite him over to my house, but my parents wouldn't have any of that, no matter how much I begged. No boys in the household unless related. It was a law I had to obey. No one besides Edward, you and I know about these plans and I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself. Hell, by the time you read this, I might have already gone and the thought would've slipped my mind, so maybe I shouldn't care if word gets out.

Hopefully Edward doesn't care either.

I'll let you know what happens soon!

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

Last night was one of the best nights of my life. It wasn't that I did anything adventurous or out of this world, it was just one of those nights where you appreciate the life you've been given and the people within it. And Edward sure did appreciate life. I spent what seemed like forever picking out an outfit for the night, but then I realised that I was living in Ireland, so a dress was out of order, but shorts and a pair of thick, black tights weren't. I pulled on my tights, shorts, designer t-shirt and blazer, along with my Doc Martin shoes. It wasn't as cold as Dublin usually got during this time of year, for which I was thankful. I didn't want to ruin the whole look by throwing on a thick jacket. What a way to kill the whole thing, huh?

This was probably the first and last time I'd ever try to make an effort in appearance for someone. I just put my hair up in a messy bun, not really trying in that department but decided on some make-up. Light foundation, mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss did it for me and I was ready to go. When I reached the hall downstairs, I heard the forever present sound of re-run episodes of Friends on the television and poked my head into the living room to say goodbye to my parents.

"I'm going out!" I informed them.

"Don't go far, Bella! And be back by ten!" I shut the door before they could say anything more. Can you imagine it? A sixteen year old having to be in at ten o'clock! Maybe it was a good thing that they cared enough to not let me stay out all night. Hopefully, they didn't lock the front door before I got home. That would piss me off royally.

When I was a few steps in the park we now called our 'meeting spot' I heard my name being called. "Bella, quick, it's fucking freezing in here!" Edward whispered harshly.

"Where are you?" It wasn't dark out or anything, but I still couldn't make out where his voice was coming from. I walked past the huge jungle gym, spying his shadow over the falling sun and gasped when I felt a hand on me, pulling me down onto the ground right beneath the huge slide.

I relaxed and let out a giggle when I realised who it was. "What the hell are you doing under here?"

"I wanted to scare you, but I got so bloody cold, the mission had to be abandoned.

"Well, maybe it would have worked if you had chosen a better hiding spot! Of course the mission had to be aborted- its ice cold on the ground! You do remember which country you're in right? I mean, this isn't the Bahamas. No piping hot sand awaits you underneath a jungle gym"-

"What did you just say?" He guffawed, rolling around on the freezing cold ground, chortling to himself.

"Why are you laughing?" I wondered, smiling at how adorable he looked right there and then.

When he finally caught his breath, he spoke. "Did you just call this thing a jungle gym?" he tried his damn hardest not to laugh again.

"Um, yeah, that's what it's called, isn't it?"

"Yeah, in America!" he almost yelled.

"Well, what do you call it, then?" I demanded, feigning annoyance.

"A big ass slide!" Edward replied, in all seriousness. I just rolled my eyes and laughed. I looked back into his eyes and my laughter faded quickly, lost in his gaze.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked when it had gotten quiet.

I shook my head. "I'm not looking at you in any way; I'm just simply looking at you."

"You talk too much," he observed.

I acted as if that comment didn't bother me.

"You talk too little," I retorted.

"Touché" was all he had to add.

And it was quiet again.

"Where do you live?" he said, breaking the silence.

"Right across the road and to the left in that little estate," I told him.

"Huh."

"What?"

"I live right across the road but to the _right,_" he said.

"Really?" I sat up a little to get a better look at him. It was rather dark underneath the 'big ass slide'. "How come I've never heard of a newcomer moving in? Gossip travels fast around here you know."

"So I've witnessed at school."

I went quiet as soon as those words left his mouth. And right then his eyes got wide when he realised too, which reminded me of Mike the night he found me upstairs with Jacob/James. I squeezed my own damn eyes shut to stop the images from appearing in my head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like"-

"It's alright, I know what you meant," I whispered.

"I"- he started but then he stopped trying, knowing it wouldn't do him any good. "Uh, why don't we move to the swings, Bella? My arse is numb now lying here," Edward suggested.

I nodded, not really hearing him but followed his steps anyway until we were sitting on the swings, feet kicking at the ground, not bothering to reach the sky.

"I'm sorry I said that, Bella, I really am," he said once again.

"I said its fine, Edward, don't worry about it," and I meant what I said, much like he did.

"Regardless, I shouldn't have said it like that."

"I know." The silence went on for longer this time. My day with him seemed to be at an end and I hated it. "I'm not really into the whole gossip crowd," Edward started. "When people start talking about others I instantly zone out, not bothering to contribute to the conversation. Whenever I try to defend the person, others contradict saying it's only natural to judge. But why is that? Why do we feel the need to put others down or point out something that brings them lower than they already are? It's probably the one thing that will confound me till I die. Maybe God will have the answer."

"Only God can judge," I quoted and I could literally hear him smile. "You know what I just realised, Edward?" I asked.

"What?"

"You're me."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't mean in a literal sense," I quickly started to explain myself. "I'm just saying that the words you just spoke to me are words I thought to myself a couple of weeks ago. I always wondered why the girls I hung around with felt the need to judge others they hardly knew. And I'm still confused, just like you."

"Well, aren't we a fine pair?"

"We are indeed." And then he took my hand from the swing and held it in his. I looked over at his face, studying his perfect features, watching as that well known smirk crept its way onto his soft lips.

"You're so beautiful, Bella."

I felt the sudden urge to kiss him after that. Though I didn't make a move on him, nor did he on me. We just kind of looked at one another for a long time because I couldn't find anything good enough to respond with.

"I made a promise to myself, you know," Edward murmured softly, staring into my muddy brown eyes as I looked into his emerald green.

"Yeah?" was all I said.

"Yeah," he repeated. "I promised myself that no matter what I heard about another person other than myself- no matter how bad that person may put out to be - I would not judge them before getting to know them personally."

My hard pounded in delight and relief at his words.

"Thank you," I breathed out, smiling softly.

"Hey, I made that promise to _me_, not you. You're an extraordinary girl, Isabella Swan. How people can think any different is beyond my comprehension." It was in that moment that I decided Edward Cullen was one of a kind and truly a great friend.

I just hope I can be enough for him to stay.

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

I think I'll carry on telling you about my night with Edward on Friday. Since its Saturday morning and I don't have plans, I'll stay put in bed and type away. After he told me I was beautiful and I swooned like a fucking little school girl, he suggested we go do something adventurous, which ended up as us just walking around his estate. He pointed out his house and explained that he lived with his mother. His father was the manager of some big company so he travelled all over Ireland to the different branches. He wasn't home a lot. Edward said his father was loaded with money but never got the chance to spend it on his family, due to his travelling. There was sadness in his voice, but he tried his best to hide it.

He wasn't the best actor.

Edward's home was bigger than the other houses in the estate. His father may not be around as much, but he did make sure his wife and kid were put up in a nice home. Edward has an older sister who is off in college in Donegal so he doesn't see much of her either. I don't think I would be able to live like that; not seeing my sister and father for a multiple amount of weeks. It must be hard for him, but Edward didn't show it at all when he spoke about his family. He's proud of his sister, although he does admit to missing his father. He wishes he was home for the family holidays like Christmas and Easter.

I felt really bad for Edward and his mother.

After talking about his family, he asked me about my own. I told him I was an only child and explained what my parents did for a living.

"You must be loaded, what with your Mam being a designer," Edward said.

I shrugged. "I don't ask for much. I mainly only ask for books and what not."

"My Dad always mails me books when he's been gone for more days than he had hoped so that I didn't forget about him, I guess. I have a huge stack of novels he's sent me from different counties in Ireland that he's stayed in. I've read them all too."

I nodded, intrigued "I didn't think you'd be into reading… I thought you were more of the writing type."

"You know what people say about assumptions," his voice was condescending.

"It's evident that you love to write though, in English class," I said in my defence.

"True. I do write, but only for fun… nothing serious."

"Can I read some of the things you wrote?" I asked, nervously chewing on my bottom lip. Edward looked over at me, eyebrows raised and then his eyes dropped to my lips, staying there as we stood still in the middle of the road. I could have sworn his eyes darkened as they continued to stare.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, growing uncomfortable under his gaze.

He just shook his head. "Nothing… um, yeah I guess you could read some of the things I've written, but I'm not very good, I must warn you."

"Hey, I've sat beside you in that English class for a while now; I know you're an incredible writer."

"You're not too bad yourself, Miss Swan," he winked and I blushed.

"My Ma is still at work," Edward hinted, "You can come up to my room and read my stuff now, if you'd like."

_Oh_.

"Your mother won't mind, would she?" I bit down on my lip again, hesitating, although all I wanted to do was say "yes, yes, yes!"

"Nah, she'd be fine with it. Come on, let's go inside." And then he took my hand and pulled me along with him until we reached his front door. He whipped out a key and unlocked it, extending his arm and saying "ladies first."

The house was stunning from the inside. Paintings covered the cream coloured walls, reminding me of a vintage setting, and the furniture in the living room looked so soft to sit on. Peering down the hall, I noticed the beige coloured walls of the kitchen and the glass French doors opening up to meet the back garden. The place was huge! Eyes wide, I tried to act normal, not bothering to feel intimidated by his wealth and home décor. He wasn't the type to judge someone on those certain things anyway. Edward hung up his jacket and ran up the stairs, ordering me to follow him.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I followed him up the stairs. His house was three stories high and I quickly learned that he had the whole third floor to himself. I stopped walking when I came to the second floor and found a huge mahogany mantelpiece that held multiple family pictures. I smiled at the adorable young Edward looking back at me with ice-cream dripping down onto his football jersey. I laughed when I saw a woman- who seemed to be his mother- in the background, fussing over the mess young Edward was making. When Edward caught me staring at the pictures, he chuckled, not bothering to hide his embarrassment and dragged me up to the third floor.

Edward's room was impressive. His king sized bed was pressed up against the wall on the left, covered in blue cotton sheets and hundreds of pillows. I felt the sudden urge to jump on it, although I restrained myself, not wanting to embarrass myself further. The walls were painted mint green and a few football posters hung there along with a provocative poster of Rihanna. I giggled at that and moved on to look at the rest of his room. The window facing the front of his home had the view of the neighbourhood and a few cars drove by, the headlights flashing off the house. Beneath the window was a sight to behold. Edward wasn't exaggerating when he said he had a pile of books littering his room from his father. The greatest titles were piled into stacks on the carpeted floor and I quickly walked towards them to get a closer look. I heard him chuckle from behind me but I ignored it, picking up the first book I saw and read the blurb, already lost in the pages.

"You weren't lying when you said you had all these books," I stated, continuing to read.

"Yeah, most don't believe me until they see them," he laughed once. His voice was much closer than before but I tried not to make it a big deal as I heard his footsteps moving closer toward me. My back was turned away from his, so when I felt his breath in my ear, it caused a shiver to run through me.

"What are you reading?" he murmured, so close to my ear. I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice and a sudden memory of James/Jacob flew through my mind and I pulled away from Edward almost immediately.

"What's wrong?" he wondered, alarmed. I dropped the book I was holding and moved over to the wooden desk across the room, pleading for my heart to stop beating so hard.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I can't… I mean, we can't… not after what happened"-

"It's true isn't it?" Edward cut me off, his eyes widening in shock.

Tears sprung to my own eyes when I realised what he was saying.

"That boy… James… he really did try to"-

"Stop," I repeated over and over again, wiping under my eyes, but it didn't help. The tears flowed endlessly, no matter what I did.

"Oh, Bella!" And then I was in his arms, his tight grip on me almost suffocating, but I welcomed it, knowing he didn't mean any harm.

"Shh, Bella, it's okay, calm down, _please_," he hushed.

I sobbed into his chest, barely hearing his cries for me to calm down, because I couldn't do it. I couldn't calm down. I didn't know how to after this. "I'm s-sorry, Edward, I-I"-

"Don't you_ dare_ apologise, Bella. You did nothing wrong."

Somehow, we ended up on his bed, leaning back against the headboard, as he continued rocking me back and forth, whispering encouraging but meaningless words just to comfort me. When I finally managed to stop crying and calm my breathing, I sat up and found the wet patch my tears soaked into his shirt.

"God, I'm sorry, Edward, I'm such a mess," I mumbled, my voice hoarse.

He just shrugged it off. "It's no big deal, honestly." After a moment of silence apart from our breathing, Edward spoke again. "Bella, you need to tell the police about what happened that night." I was already shaking my head 'no' before he even got the chance to finish the sentence. "No, hear me out," Edward demanded. "If you don't feel comfortable talking to the police, at least talk to your parents. They need to know."

"And do you think they'll understand?" I argued, glaring at him. "You didn't see what I was forced to wear that night. All I've heard from people in school was that I was asking for it. I had those ridiculous clothes on, practically inviting James/Jacob to come on to me. It was my fault, and my parents would know that. They'd say I was fucking asking for it, too!"

The look in his eyes after that was one of pity but that only fuelled my anger. "Stop looking at me like that, Edward! I don't want your pity! Please stop looking at me like I'm a broken toy that needs to be put back together again. I hate it!"

"Bella, whether you like it or not they are your parents. Don't pay attention to what others say about you, there's no point in that! What they say isn't true and never will be. You were a victim of an almost committed crime and it needs to be dealt with immediately! I care too much for you to see you so broken."

"I'm not broken, Edward," I gritted out, my voice breaking on his name.

"You're not whole either."

I rolled my eyes. "You barely know me enough to care so much for me."

"I know more than you think, Bella. I know enough to know that I don't want to see you getting hurt. I know how much you love books. I saw it when you found the pile of novels on the floor just there; you were so lost in what you held in your hand. I know you like to observe things rather than point something out. You see things that others don't, both good and bad, but you don't say a thing. You're quiet at first but once people get to know you, you're talkative and can be as loud as you possibly want. You're so beautiful, Bella. And someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have to live in a judgmental world where your voice cannot be heard."

Fresh tears poured down my cheeks but before I could swipe them away, Edward beat me to it, running his fingers along my cheeks, lingering for a moment before pulling them away entirely. I didn't know what to say. Edward noticed things about me that Angela, Lauren and Jessica wouldn't even be able to point out. He knew my love for books (that much was obvious) and he knew how cruel and judgemental this world could be. He called me beautiful. No male apart from my father has said that to me before, so to hear it from this boy was a huge compliment and also a surprise.

"Bella, you said so yourself, the clothes you wore that night were _forced _onto you. You cannot blame yourself for what happened. A provocative outfit does not give any man the right to touch a girl without her permission. It's sad that you think so."

I shook my head trying to clear it. All these thoughts were swirling around up there, I felt dizzy. Instead of replying to the words I knew were true, I moved closer to Edward and gave him a hug, squeezing him so hard, neither one of us could breathe.

"Thank you so much," I wheezed, letting him go after a while.

I felt him smile against my forehead as he kissed it lightly. "No problem. I'll always be here for you, Bella."

"You really mean that?" I had to ask. I didn't want to get my hopes up believing him.

"Yes!" He took both my hands in his and stared me dead in the eye. "Yes, Bella, I really mean that. I like you. I want to be around you. You're weird and smart and you're not afraid to speak your mind. All those traits are what make you who you are, including your flaws, which I haven't figured out yet. You're perfect in my eyes Miss Swan. And I know we only know each other a few days, but I really consider you my best friend. I don't want to lose you." My heart constricted and I almost forgot how to breathe after hearing those words come from his mouth. Edward's shining green eyes bore into my brown and I stayed completely still when I saw his head slowly move closer to mine.

Once again, I felt his sweet breath fan across my face and I stiffened, moving my head to the side so his lips would reach my cheek instead of my lips.

Edward sighed, pulling back. "You can't blame a man for trying," he laughed it off, moving back to look at me.

"I'd hardly call you a man," I teased, trying to get back to normal, though my eyes pleaded with him to forgive me for turning him down again.

"Ouch, Bella, that kind of hurt," he pretended to be wounded.

"I'm not going to apologise for speaking the truth."

"Well, I can't argue with that now, can I?"

I decided to throw him a bone, "I'm afraid not, handsome."

His strongly missed smirk was back and that famous wink joined alongside it.

"So you think I'm handsome? That's enough… for now." I smiled, triumphant that he hadn't given up on me just yet.

Looking down at my watch, it read eight fifteen. I hadn't realised how long I'd been crying. Poor Edward must be drenched in salt water right now!

"Um, if you need to change your shirt you can," I suggested. "I don't want you feeling uncomfortable covered in my tears."

"Oh, now you want to get me naked?" he acted appalled. I giggled. "Well, okay then, you asked for it," and he began to pull his shirt up over his head.

"Stop, I didn't mean in front of me!" I chuckled; grabbing his shirt and pulling it back down, catching a glimpse of his defined abs right before his stomach was covered again. Wow.

"Fair enough," Edward sighed. "You won't be able to resist soon enough."

"Oh, how will I live without seeing that hot body of yours?"

"Honestly, I do not know."

And we were laughing again.

"Maybe I should head home," I sighed, sadly. "I don't want my mother worrying about me."

"Can't you just text her and let her know you're okay?" I didn't miss the disappointment in his tone.

"I don't own a phone," I admitted in a low voice.

"Really?" I nodded. "Huh, we're going to have to change that. How else can I contact you then?"

_Mental note: plead with my parents for a phone_.

I ended up leaving his house after that, with him walking me to my own estate.

"I'll see you Monday then, I guess," he smiled, leaning in for a hug when we reached my house. I mentally kicked myself for not having a phone.

"Yeah, see you Monday." The hug was short and sweet, but held so much warmth and meaning within it. Tonight, Edward's true colours showed and I liked the person he turned out to be. "Thanks again for today. It means a lot. Really, Robert," I murmured, staring intently into his eyes. I could never stop looking at them. They were too beautiful to ignore.

"I'll always be here if you need me, Bella. Please remember that."

"Okay," I ducked my head and then felt his lips on my cheek for the second time tonight.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Edward grinned cheekily, running back the way we came. "I'll see you Monday!" I just laughed and waved goodbye, secretly swooning inside. Oh, he really is perfect, Friend.

I have to go, there's a knock at the door and my parents are gone out for the day.

Love,

Bella.

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**A/N**

**So how are you all liking this Edward so far? Good? Bad? Let me know!**

**Reviews are love, so please give me love! Thank you all once again! I will update whenever I can! Hopefully in a few days! Momma needs rest!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Thanks to everyone who favourite this little story and put it on alert. It means so much right now.**

_Rated M: Mature themed for future lemons._

_Written in Diary Entries!_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I know that and so do you. I'm just dabbling in her wonderful creation.

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Dear Friend,

I didn't have any dreams about Jacob/James ever since the night I went out to Edward. I wonder why that is… But the more pressing issue at the moment is the fact that Edward freaking Cullen came to my house yesterday. And when I say yesterday, I mean Saturday. The knock on my front door was indeed Edward and with my parents gone out, he chose the perfect time to come over.

But I wasn't even dressed appropriately!

Regardless, I opened the door to find him leaning against a wall, his eyes reaching mine when he looked up to greet me.

"Well, good morning Miss Swan," he smiled.

God, he was too beautiful for his own good.

I know it was wrong to call a boy beautiful- it wasn't the right word to use and it didn't do him justice at all- but I didn't care much about it. Edward Cullen was beautiful and I had to profess it.

"What are you doing here?" was my lame reply.

"Do you want me to leave?" he questioned.

"No!" I shouted immediately. Edward smirked.

"Well then, I thought I'd drop by. When I walked you home last night, I realised that both your parents drove separate cars, so when I walked past your house just a few moments ago and saw that your driveway was empty, I decided to knock and see if you were home."

"Why didn't you just assume I was out with my parents?" My eyebrows arched in question.

"Well, considering the hobbies you described to me last night after our intimate conversation, I realised that you weren't really the sociable type- and I mean that in the sincerest way possible- You enjoy reading and listening to music; both of those are singular activities, therefore you'd much rather be alone… hence why I suspected you were home."

Jeez.

"Fascinating observations, Mr Cullen," I teased. "What, are you stalking me now?"

He chuckled. "If that's what this is, then I don't mind being convicted- as long as a restraining order isn't put in place- I don't think I could handle being so far away from you." And of course, I blushed like crazy.

Did I mention he had a way with words?!

"Nice attire," Edward commented, nodding towards the pyjamas I was wearing.

"Hey!" I scolded him. "You've turned up out of the blue, uninvited during the wee hours of the morning; I don't wake up every day to please you."

"Isn't that a shame?" He sighed.

I fidgeted with my sleeve nervously, before asking, "Do you want to come inside?"

"Oh, why thank you for asking, Miss Swan. I'd love to!"

"You're so weird," I commented, shutting the door after him.

"You love it."

That was true. So undeniably true.

I left him to his own devices as I ran up the stairs two at a time to change into appropriate clothing. I must have taken quite some time because after what seemed like only a few minutes, Edward was calling my name from the bottom of the stairs. He was growing impatient. I decided it wouldn't do any harm if he came upstairs to me. I was finally dressed now, so why couldn't he sit with me for a while until I was fully ready? I had brushed my teeth and cleared away any dirty washing and made sure no bras were left lying around on my bedroom floor.

"Come upstairs if you want, Edward!" I called down to him.

There was nothing I could do about the abomination that was my room, so when he came in, I didn't bother apologising for the mess.

"And you say I have a lot of books!" Edward scoffed. "God damn girl, this place is a library!" I laughed, pulling my make-up case out from under the bed and onto my desk, angling my mirror towards me.

"There aren't that many books, you're just overreacting," I replied, picking up my make-up and applying it quickly.

"You shouldn't wear that stuff." I looked at his reflection in the mirror, confused.

"What?"

"Make-up," he said simply. "You shouldn't wear it. You look stunning without it anyway."

"Why do you say things like that?" I wondered, turning to face him.

He put down the book he was reading and looked back at me. "What things?"

"The compliments you give me… I don't understand why you give me them," I explained.

"I speak the truth," he said simply, like it was obvious.

"What you believe is true isn't what others think is true, though," I contradicted.

"I'm sorry, but I don't care what others think. Regardless of whether or not others think you're beautiful, _I_ do and that's all that matters, is it not?"

Oh. I ducked my head in sudden embarrassment and shame.

"God, I'm sorry, Edward… You're being so nice to me and I'm just throwing it back in your face."

"What did I say before about you being sorry?" Edward rolled his eyes, walking towards me until he was standing over me. I nodded. "Right, I forgot."

Then I heard the unmistakable sound of tires in the driveway and my heart stopped.

"My parents are home."

"Should I go?" He asked, not phased in the slightest by my parents' sudden arrival.

"There's no time, they'll see you." God, we sounded like some romanticised story about star crossed lovers afraid of being caught together by their parents. Yes, I may or may not be talking about Romeo and Juliet.

"What do we do?" Edward asked. I heard a car door slam shut and I jumped a little, terrified I would be grounded for having a boy in my room.

"Um… just hide!" I stupidly suggested. "Hide under the bed or in the wardrobe. I'll be back in a minute." I left him in my room and shut the door behind me, running down the stairs to greet whatever parent was home.

It was my mother.

"Hi Bella, could you help me with these bags?" She had been out shopping again. Great. "Look at all these clothes I bought! And all on sale, can you believe it?"

"No, Ma, I can't," I muttered, grabbing a few bags and hauling them into the kitchen.

"I'm heading out again if you want to come along," my mother informed me. "I just wanted to drop these bags home beforehand."

Yes, she was leaving again!

"Are you okay, Bells? You look kind of nervous…" I snapped out of it almost immediately.

"Yeah, I'm grand… and no, I think I'll stay in for the day- study a little. You know, use my time wisely and all that."

That put a smile on my mother's face. "Great! Well, I'll see you later!"

"What time will you be home at? What about Dad?" I asked, shrugging as though I really didn't care.

"I should be back at around two, I'll bring home lunch. Your father is gonna be late coming home… probably six or something like that. I got to go, bye!"

And she was gone.

"Whew! That was close!" It wasn't me who said it. Edward shouted down from where he was hiding upstairs and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Edward, shut up!"

"Sorry!" I bounded up the stairs to my room, hearing my mother's car reverse out of the garden before driving off again. I entered my room just in time to see him almost fall out of my wardrobe.

"Are you alright there?" I teased.

"Yeah, I'm just peachy."

We spent the day on my bed, talking and listening to music. Edward told me he wanted another poster to add to the collection in his bedroom. I had a few posters myself and when he spotted the Kings of Leon poster, he demanded to know where I got it. Suddenly we had plans to go to the shop I bought it in so he could purchase it too. These plans would come to fruition on Wednesday, once again putting my half day from school to good use. I had a few more girly posters of my favourite movies and actors. Embarrassingly enough, the male actors were a lot older than me, so I wasn't surprised when Edward got a little creeped out by the age difference- but I didn't care. Johnny Depp, Ryan Gosling, Richard Gere and all the other amazing actors I hung up on my wall were the loves of my life, and since I would never meet these men in real life, I might as well fawn over posters of them.

"So, one o'clock on Wednesday we'll head out to buy it? I'll knock for you beforehand though," Edward told me. I nodded.

"Yeah, we can get something to eat there also, if you'd like," I suggested.

"My, my, are you asking me on a date, Bella?" He looked flattered.

I giggled. "Sadly, no, but if that's what you want…"

"Oh, I'd like that very much!" He winked. Really?! "You can wine and dine me however you'd like."

"Shouldn't it be _you _doing the wining and dining? And I don't particularly enjoy the taste of wine."

"Oh, we'll figure something out!" And then Edward changed the subject. "How is your essay going on The Merchant of Venice?"

I shrugged. "I'm finished it, but I can't say I find it my best work."

"Can I read it?" he asked. That triggered a thought in me.

"Hey!" I almost shouted. "I never got to read anything last night in your house! We got so distracted I never got the chance to read your stuff!"

Edward chuckled. "I promise you can read my writing some other time, Bella."

"Thank you," I replied.

"So… can I read your essay?"

"I guess. It's on the desk over there," I nodded towards the table.

He grabbed the paper and then plopped himself down on the bed next to me. Edward didn't speak to me as he read the paper, but when he was finished he didn't hesitate on telling me his views. "I like how you used the term 'predominantly Christian Shakespearean society', although I don't agree with you on one point."

"And what point is that?" I asked, amused at his serious tone.

"You said in the second paragraph that Shylock was classed as a villain because of his demands for payment of a loan. That's not true."

"It isn't?" I asked, sceptical.

"No," Edward began. "He's classed as a villain because of his religion."

"That's complete bull," I said.

"No."

"Yes. You're totally wrong, Edward!"

"I'm hardly wrong, Bella!"

"Oh, so, his demanding a pound of flesh to pay off a monetary debt, is fair?"

"If you can't pay a debt, you shouldn't give your word," Edward stated.

I guess that shut me up.

Then Edward started laughing under his breath as he lay my essay down on the bed.

"What are you laughing at?" I wondered.

He shook his head in amusement. "I just love the fact that we're two teenagers in an empty house with no parents around and we're on a bed… might I remind you that we're _completely alone_ and yet, we're arguing over The Merchant of Venice. How many times can you say this had happened before?" And so we began to laugh; laughing so hard at the situation that tears sprung to our eyes and our stomachs began to hurt.

When it was almost two o'clock, Edward got up to leave. "I'll see you Monday for English class, Bella," he smiled, waving from the door.

"I'll see you Monday, Edward," I replied. And he was gone.

When my mother arrived home with lunch, I couldn't keep the smile off my face. It was such a good morning I spent with my new best friend, Edward.

I need to get some studying done now, Friend, but I'll be back tomorrow.

Love,

Bella.

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Dear Friend,

I've come to realise that my diary entries are going to be non-stop talk of Edward Cullen. And I'm okay with that. I never got to see him on Sunday, but that was alright, since I had Monday to look forward to in school. The day that was my birthday. September 13th. He was one of the few reasons I woke up in the morning. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it; I never did. I hated all the attention and when my mother woke up at seven thirty singing a loud chorus of happy birthday, I knew I had made the right choice in keeping today's date under wraps.

I quickly got washed and dressed in my uniform, heading downstairs for breakfast. I always waited to do my make-up until after I had eaten. With how I slurped the milk left over in my cereal bowel, I wouldn't be surprised if my foundation was blotchy. So I waited until I finished my bowel of Cheerios to do my make-up.

When I just finished applying lip balm, I heard a knock on the front door. By that time it was eight thirty. I usually waited until my mother was going to work and steal a lift from her to school, but when I looked out the window and spotted Edward leaning once again against my wall I decided against it. The weather looked okay enough to go without a jacket, so that's what I did. Taking the stairs two at a time, I spotted my mother in the hall, looking shocked at who stood outside our door.

Instead of explaining the situation, I jumped away from her, shouting "see you later!" and shut the front door after me without another word to my family and found Edward grinning at me, knowingly.

"What?" I said, though I already knew what.

"Just you," was all he said in response. Then we started walking.

I knew my mother would hold off the Spanish Inquisition until I got home at around four fifteen today, so I had the whole day to think of something to tell her about Edward besides the fact that he was my new best friend. I definitely did not want to tell her about my sudden fallout with Jessica, Angela and Lauren. And I most definitely did not want to stop the whole conversation by lying to my mother that Edward was my boyfriend.

_Come on_.

"So, how was your Sunday night?" Edward asked when we were out of my estate.

"It was spent reading and stuffing my face," I confessed, much to his delight. He seemed to like that I was so honest. "How was yours?"

Edward shrugged. "It was alright, I guess. Pretty crap compared to the Friday and Saturday I shared with you."

_Oh shucks_…I blushed and quickly changed the subject. I couldn't handle another sweet compliment and confession by him. Not this early in the morning.

School started at eight fifty, so we were quite early, considering how close I lived to the building, so when we entered the halls, I wasn't surprised that it was empty. Edward complained about the halls being too warm and he took off his jacket, revealing his uniform from underneath. He must be the only person alive who could pull off looking so sexy in our tacky school uniform.

"So, are you ready to hand in your essay on the MOV?" Edward raised one eyebrow, obviously remembering our debate from Saturday morning over Shylock. I smiled knowingly. "Hell yes, I am!"

Edward chuckled at my answer. "Great. As am I… may the best man win?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a girl," I snapped, playfully.

"Oh, _I've noticed_," he smirked, his eyes going straight to my chest.

"Hey!" I hit him forcefully in the arm, making him wince, though his grin stayed in tacked.

"I'm joking, relax will you?" And we were both laughing again.

The bathroom near where we were standing flew open and three girls stepped out. The same three girls I had asked numerous times to forgive me. Jessica rolled her eyes at the sight of me and Angela and Lauren's eyes widened at who was standing next to me.

"Hey girls," Edward said politely, though you could tell he didn't want to make conversation.

"Hi, Edward," Angela smiled, playing with a strand of her long, brown hair.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. The one thing I didn't understand about girls was how stupid and childish they acted around boys. Why act differently towards them? What happened to being you?

"Why are _you_ here so early?" Jessica quizzed, not taking her eyes off Edward.

"Why are you?" He shot back, not meaning to sound so angry, I'm sure.

"No need to get bitchy," Jess laughed, humourlessly.

Edward scoffed. "You're one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" she hissed.

"You know exactly what I meant!"

"Edward, stop it," I mumbled, putting a hand up against his chest, like I was trying to hold him back from hitting Jessica. This only egged Jess on further when she seen my hand on him.

"_Oh_!" She smiled, almost mischievously. "So you're her latest victim, Edward? You don't want to break her heart; you know what she did to the last boy who didn't want her. I don't want to see you going to prison over a false accusation made against you"-

"Shut your damn mouth, Jessica!" Edward demanded, his voice growing louder with every word leaving his mouth.

"Edward, leave her alone," I pleaded, though all I really wanted to do was bounce Jessica's face off every surface area in the hall for saying those things about Edward and I. How dare her!

"Yeah, _Edward_, leave me alone!" Jessica mocked.

"Jessica, I swear to fucking God"-

"What is going on out here?" A new voice yelled and my heart almost stopped. This could not get any worse. The deputy principle stepped out of a classroom, staring at the scene before him. Edward was the first to speak out of us all.

"Sir, these girls have been bullying Bella for too long now and it needs to stop."

"What?!" Lauren screeched, eyes blazing.

"That is not what's been happening, I swear sir!" I yelled, facing Mr Brown.

"I sure hope not!" Mr Brown said, sternly. "Now, head on off to your registration class. I'm sure you'll find most of your classmates there already waiting outside. Go on now." Then Mr Brown walked down the hall, leaving us all once more, as if nothing had happened. As you can see, our school hasn't ever really participated in anti-bullying campaigns. Pathetic.

Angela was the first to leave and although I wanted to wait until all three girls were gone before I made my exit, Edward grabbed me by the hand and dragged me forward; pulling me out towards the one place I thought no boy would ever dare enter… the girls' bathrooms!

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Shh!" I kept my talking to a minimum but couldn't shake the thought of Jessica ratting us out when she seen us enter the bathroom.

Once we were inside and the door was closed shut, I broke down my walls. I didn't begin to cry or anything like that (I was pretty sure I was all cried out now over the last few weeks) but the act I had outside was not one I had to perform around Edward, so I let the wall crumble, returning to my normal self. I heard Edward mutter under his breath, but couldn't make out the words. (I guess I finally understood now why my father got so annoyed when I muttered incoherently).

"Are you okay, Bella?" He asked after a moment. I nodded, not sure if it was a lie or not. He rolled his eyes, and then gripped my hands in his. "_Are _you _okay_?" He repeated.

I breathed out a sigh. "No, I'm not okay," I answered, sincere.

"Why?"

"_Why_?" It was my turn to repeat. "Because I… You took total control out there, Edward! I'm kind of angry with you!"

"Keep going," he encouraged, his voice low.

"I… Ugh, you wouldn't listen when I asked you to stop! You wouldn't let me talk for myself. I understand that you're trying to look out for me, but I can fight my own battles. I _want _to fight my own battles!"

"Anything else?"

This only angered me more.

"What else do you want? I'm sick of this! I'm sick of my life! Once I begin to think things are starting to get good someone else comes along and just messes me up all over again; knocking me down the moment I feel strong enough to get back up and be myself! I hate it, Edward… I-I h-hate it!" I guess I was thankful Edward pulled me into these bathrooms because a) they were entirely empty and b) I could break down in tears without anyone knowing.

I was in Edward's arms much like I was on Friday night in his room and just like that night, he was whispering encouraging and sympathetic words into my ear, kissing my hair as he spoke. It was comforting to know he got me all riled up and angry just to get my frustration out, regardless that it wasn't aimed at the people I really want to yell at. The anger got the words I've been trying to comprehend as feelings out of my system and knowing that it was Edward who was the catalyst for it, made these tears feel worth it. I calmed down once I heard the first bell ring, ordering all students to registration class and knew I had to snap out of it.

"Are you well enough to go to class, or do you want to stay here for a while?" Edward whispered, releasing me from his hug to look at me. I craned my neck to get a glimpse of what I looked like after my little meltdown in the mirror and saw that my make-up wasn't totally destroyed. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

"Yeah, I'm alright now. Thanks- for the hundredth time in the last few days."

He laughed. "It was my pleasure." He wiped under my eyes and then took my hand in his, guiding me out of the bathroom. That's where we met Ms Webb… our school principle. Considering Edward and I had just walked out of the _girls' _lavatory, Ms Webb was not impressed.

Honestly, today couldn't get any worse.

At the end of it all, Edward was the one who got the detention for being where he wasn't supposed to be and all I got was a little scolding and was ordered to write out the school rules that would have to be presented tomorrow morning in her office. I felt so bad that Edward got the worst punishment. On the way to our first class, registration all but forgotten, I apologised profusely for what I had caused, ignoring the fact that he hated when I told him sorry.

"Stop, for crying out loud, Bella!" he chuckled. "This isn't the first time I've gotten detention. Of course, I'd received it for totally different reasons. In my old school I would never have gotten caught. Think logically, babe."

I tried to focus more on the fact that he was trying to comfort me, rather than the fact that Edward Cullen had just called me 'babe'. I was just completely dying inside with satisfaction.

"Okay, sorry- Oh shit, I mean- Ugh, forget it." He laughed, again, nudging my shoulder playfully with his own. Of course, with the little altercation with the principle, we were late for class, but as I once mentioned before, Mr Byrne didn't mind. Jessica, Angela and Lauren were already sitting in their usual seats at the back of the class, and Jennifer was the only one glaring in my direction. Actually, Angela and Lauren looked kind of annoyed with Jess at the moment. I prayed it was because of what she said to Edward and me.

Taking our seats next to each other, we took out our homework on The Merchant of Venice, both of us smirking when we thought back to the day in my room. The memory gave me goose bumps and tingles flew through my body. Mr Byrne collected the homework and promised to correct them by tomorrow, so we would all know our grade. It was the kind of homework that prepared you for exams. The class went as normal, taking notes on what we should study for our exams and what not. Nobody said anything to Edward and me, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to be teased or interrupted during my favourite class.

History class went by so slowly, mostly because it was the one class Rob couldn't sit beside me in. Our history teacher had a strict rule of not putting close friends together in case we would talk, so I was beside Eric, a boy I rarely ever talked to during my years of being in his class. He kind of looked repulsed by me. Maybe it was because of the rumour. After my last class before lunch time, I was getting ready to walk home when Jasper- another boy in my class- came up to me, looking kind of scared as he asked me a question.

"Is it true?"

"Excuse me?" I questioned.

"I mean… is it true about Edward? Did he really get detention for sneaking into the girls' bathroom with you earlier on?"

I was literally speechless. "How the fuck do you know this?"

"So it _is_ true?"

"I never said that!" I hissed, getting angrier by the second.

"Alice told me that she heard it from Rosalie who heard it from Emmett who heard it from Jessica."

_Jessica_.

I couldn't believe this.

"Where is Jessica now?" I demanded, catching a few weird looks from students passing by. Come to think of it, most of the people in this hall were looking at me funny.

"In the lunch room, I think, why? Are you going to fight?"

I wasn't one for violence but this had gone way too far.

In the canteen, I spotted Jessica almost immediately, and then my eyes flickered to Edward sitting at his usual table, looking at me curiously. I seriously wished people would stop giving me that look.

"Jessica!" I yelled, not minding that I caught everyone's attention. I already had enough of it anyway. It was obvious Jessica spread that rumour about Edward and I like wild fire. She turned and smirked the moment she saw me. I continued walking towards her.

"Yes, Bella?" she said, sweetly, the smile never leaving her lips.

"You know what! How dare you bring Edward into this?" I screeched, finally reaching her.

Now, the right thing to do in this kind of situation would be to listen to what she had to say before anything went any further. But no, I decided to go a totally different route.

"I was just"-

I heard gasps echo around me as my fist met Jessica's cheek. She went flying back, her face angling to the side and if it wasn't for Angela standing behind her I'm pretty sure she would have fallen and hit her head really hard.

"Oh my God that was amazing!"

"She is gonna get into so much trouble."

"What did I miss?!"

"Is that blood?"

"_Bell__a!"_

It was only the last voice that really meant much to me. From my peripheral, I could see Edward dive out of his seat and race towards me, but I didn't pay much attention because Jessica finally regained her balance and was prepared to fight back.

"No, Bella, don't do this!" I felt Edward's arms form a tight grip around my waist and pull me backwards towards the exit of the canteen.

"I'll get you back for this Bella! You wait and see!" Jessica screeched, her blood dripping onto the floor.

"Come on then!" I yelled. "No one's stopping you!"

"Bella, shut the fuck up!" Edward hissed in my ear.

"Edward, let me go!" I wrestled against his hands but it was no use, he was way stronger than I was. His body was warm against my back, so when we were alone in the hall, I took comfort to his body. I was panting heavily, my body high on adrenaline and my blood pounded in my ears.

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking?" He sighed, exasperated. "You're so lucky teachers don't bother coming into the canteen. You would have gotten into deeper trouble than you already are."

"I was doing you a favour, in case you haven't noticed!" I started. "She was spreading rumours about us- _again_. You couldn't expect me to just sit there and let her"-

"That's _exactly _what you should have done!" Edward interrupted me. "And that's exactly what _I _was doing before you made that big scene. Just ignore her, Bella. She's not worth your time."

Tears formed in my eyes, but I forced them back, not wanting to cry again in front of him. I wasted too many tears on that girl and cried so many onto Edward's t-shirts that I didn't want to do it anymore. Edward was right, and I was only seeing it now. Damn him and his reasoning. "I'm sorry… I just hate that I brought you into this mess."

"Hey," he said his voice much softer as he planted both his hands on my cheeks. "_I _brought myself into this mess, remember? I talked to you first."

That was true. "I still don't understand why, though," I muttered.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, Bella. You might not know this- mostly because no one ever had the decency to tell you- but _you_, Bell Swan are amazing."

And suddenly, his lips were on mine, soft, warm and so, so sweet. I kind of stood in shock for a fraction of a second before I realised what was actually happening; that Edward Cullen was actually kissing _me. _He was _kissing _me. Instead of pulling away and making things awkward between us and primarily for the fact that I _wanted _to… I kissed him back. Our mouths moved together slowly, both of us just feeling and getting used to the experience. Edward then moved his hands away from my face and traced the line of my cheekbones, to the nape of my neck, and down the side of my body until they rested on my hips, pulling me closer to him. My hands twined around his neck, locking him in place as we continued kissing in the hallway.

I rid any thoughts and fears of someone spotting us out here. I didn't worry about the fact that a student could walk out of the canteen right now and see us, and I didn't worry about a teacher scolding us for being so affectionate. Instead, I focused on how perfect Edward's kiss felt. Then his tongue met mine in a hungrier kiss and an unfamiliar tingle settled itself in between my thighs, egging me on to do more. Somehow we ended up pressed against the lockers in the hall, which to me was a sign to get the hell out of there.

I broke away from Edward, breathless and in a daze, trying to catch my breath to speak. "Come back to my house for lunch. I can't be in there with Jessica. I'll snap." He just nodded, also out of breath.

We stood against the lockers for a while, getting our breathing back under control, and when we were finally ready, he took my hand and dragged me out of the school. We were silent as we walked back to my house, probably both thinking about the kiss we just shared.

It was perfect.

No fireworks or sparks flew, but I don't think a kiss is supposed to be like that. To me, a first real kiss has to mean _more _than just sparks; you have to _feel _something inside you towards the other person. You need to be lost in the kiss, not thinking about the fireworks or goose bumps rising on your skin. You need to feel something other than how amazing their kiss is and how their hands feel on you. The whole kiss in general has to be just right. And afterwards when you're in a daze and out of breath, looking into the others' eyes, feeling mesmerised, _that's_ when you know you've had a first _real _kiss.

Maybe I'm just an awkward romantic, but that's how it felt for me.

Edward didn't let go of my hand as we walked, so I took that as a sign that he too enjoyed the kiss. Just as we reached my house and I saw that my parents' cars weren't in the driveway.

Edward spoke. "I don't think you realise how long I've been waiting to do that."

I bit down on my lip to try and stop my smile. I didn't do a very good job. "What… kiss me?"

"Yeah," I shook my head, trying to clear it as I fished my key out of my pocket, opening up the front door and stepping inside.

"Are your parent's home?" Edward wondered, plopping his bag down in the hall next to mine.

"No, they must be at work," I responded, my stomach rumbling embarrassingly loud at how hungry I was.

"So… we're alone?"

"Don't get any ideas there, bucko," I smirked, looking back at him. "I'm starving here."

He chuckled. "Let's eat then."

After lunch, Edward convinced me to stay off school and not to bother going after Jessica. 'She's not worth it' was all he kept saying, which kind of got annoying after a while. But I did what he said and took the rest of the day off. He promised me he'd bring me back homework if we got any, for which I was grateful.

At the front door when we were saying our goodbyes, Edward gave me a small, sweet kiss on the doorstep, which to me was much better than our first.

"I'll see you later," he murmured softly against my lips before turning to head back to school. I don't think I've ever been more happy, Friend.

"Oh, and Edward?" He turned at the sound of my name on his lips, wrapping around it like a vice. "I forgot to tell you… it's officially my birthday today. I'm seventeen." I bit down on my lip, hoping to God that he wouldn't be angry that I hid it from him.

His eyes widened minutely and then he composed himself, clearing his throat before speaking. "I'll be over later tonight. Wait up and keep the door unlocked." I giggled after the wink he gave me.

I hope what Edward and I have will continue to grow and blossom into something beautiful, without being destroyed by some angry teenage girls. One can only hope.

Love,

Bella.

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**A/N**

**You know that lemon I spoke about? It's coming… soon. Reviews are love, so please give me love! Thank you all once again! I will update whenever I can! Hopefully in a few days! Momma needs rest!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**Thanks to everyone who favourite this little story and put it on alert. It means so much right now.**

_Rated M: Mature themed for lemons._

_Written in Diary Entries!_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer; I know that and so do you. I'm just dabbling in her wonderful creation.

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Dear Friend,

The wait for Edward that night was endless. I knew it was a risk telling him that it was my birthday; he'd make a big deal out of it, exclaiming that it must be celebrated. Edward was much more enthusiastic than I am. I know he'd wanna make an event out of my birthday. My seventeenth birthday at that! Either that or he'd buy me some ridiculous present that I know I wouldn't' accept because it was far too extravagant. Oh God, the wait was excruciating!

But finally, he did arrive: ten o'clock on the dot. He totally discarded his previous words of me keeping the door unlocked, because he climbed up the side of the house to my window instead, almost scaring me half to death when his beautiful face popped up in the night. I may or may not have shit my pants from the fright.

"Let me in, Bella, will you?" Edward panted, grasping the window ledge for support.

I leapt from my bed to help drag him inside my warm room. It was stuffy from the amount of hours I lay here waiting for his arrival.

"God, it's like a sauna in here!" he whispered harshly, pulling himself up off the floor and jumped onto my bed.

"Keep it down! I have a house filled with sleeping parents, you know?" I whispered back, sitting next to him awkwardly. I really didn't have a single clue as to how to proceed with him. I was way too nervous having him in my room at night. _On my fucking bed._

"That has nothing to do with the heat of this place. Jesus it's warm!" He totally just ignored everything I just said.

"It's because I'm too hot to handle, now shut the fuck up before I kick you out. You're being _way _too loud," I ordered, a slight glint in my eye.

He smirked and I blushed. "You're quite an angry kitten aren't ya?" He chuckled but it was so low that not even a mouse could hear him. I nodded at the fact that he finally listened.

The house was silent except for our low but shallow breaths. I think he was as nervous about being here at night as I was.

"Why did you want to come over?" I asked a little too harshly. Edward's face was enough indication to show that I had hurt his feelings.

"I don't mean that I don't want you here, it's just that I don't know why _you _want to… um, be here. At night of all times," I laughed it off nervously, biting my lip.

Edward's eyes dropped to my lips and they darkened, along with the tightening of his jaw. I gulped when he met my gaze. "I, eh, you know, when you told me it was your birthday, I kind of felt guilty."

"Guilty?" I repeated, truly shocked. "Guilty for what? Not knowing?"

He nodded stiffly. "I mean, not in the way you're implying, it's just that I didn't know beforehand and so I couldn't buy you a gift. And when you told me earlier on I promised myself that I would go buy you something as soon as school was let out. But then with what happened in the girls' bathrooms, I had detention straight after class. Pissed wasn't even the word for how I was feeling," Edward laughed as he finished his story. "I knew that you'd hate if I bought something way too expensive and I wasn't even thinking that far. I just wanted to give you something that was sentimental and… showed how much I care about you, Bella."

My breath hitched as he muttered the last few words.

"And then I thought… what's the point in buying a gift when I could give you something more?" Edward mused aloud, making my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Then Edward's eyes met mine once more, the mood shifting between us completely as he leaned towards me.

I began to think quickly about what was about to happen. Edward was obviously about to kiss me, something I've been dreaming of doing ever since I met him, but certain things kept me from having what I so badly wanted. Thoughts of Jacob/James raced through my mind; his violent hands on me, his too eager mouth pushing against mine… I didn't want that experience in the front of my mind when I was about to kiss Edward. He wasn't my attacker. Edward was my friend; someone I know would not hurt me, someone who I could trust. But these qualities would not stop me from thinking back to the night I was forced upon by James/Jacob.

However, looking into Edward's eyes now, those thoughts seemed to disappear altogether, leaving a bitter taste behind; a taste that could be washed away by the sweet and loving taste of Edward.

And so I made my decision just in time to feel Edward's lips on me. This kiss was much softer than the one we shared earlier that day, though it still held all the passion that made my heart race and clench. His tongue smoothly ran across my bottom lip and I moaned, involuntarily, almost forgetting about my sleeping parents across the hall. Edward shifted on the bed, angling himself towards me in order to wrap his arms around my waist and push me down in a lying position on the bed. I didn't try and stop him, for I knew it would just make things too awkward to ever recover from. But that was not the only reason why I didn't stop what was inevitably about to happen.

I was now seventeen. I was legally allowed to let what was about to happen, happen and nothing was in the way of it. From what Edward previously told me, he was also seventeen and seemed to know what he was doing, now that I felt what his tongue could do. The most viable and important revelation was that I _wanted_ this to happen. Regardless of whether things would go all the way tonight, I would take what I could get and give nothing back.

His soft, plump lips became much more urgent and I responded almost immediately. With Edward's hands already entwined around my waist, my own hands ran up his muscular arms and into his messy hair. I treaded my fingers through the long bronze strands and moaned into his mouth. His warm wet tongue traced the shape of my lips and when I began to lose my breath, Edward moved his lips to the hollow at the base of my throat, planting sweet, passionate kisses along the line of it until they reached my ear, sucking softly on the lobe. I may have whimpered at the feel of it.

"You have to be quiet, Bella," Edward whispered feebly, his teeth grazing my ear, making me shiver in complete pleasure. A tingling sensation coursed through my body, landing in the pit of my stomach. The muscles there began to tighten deliciously and when Edward's hand moved up to cover my mouth to muffle my sounds, I didn't bother masking the noises of my moans this time. It was too late. The pleasure already felt too good for me.

"Is this my birthday present?" My voice was muffled and incoherent against his palm, but he understood me perfectly by the sound of his laughter.

"Whatever you prefer, Bella," he chuckled, kissing my neck once more. His other hand that was placed firmly on my waist, now moved down lower. I was wearing pyjama shorts, so when his hand reached my bare skin, Edward's excitement was evident by the look in his eyes. He traced the skin of my thigh sensually, forcing goose bumps to rise and a shiver to run through my whole body. Edward breathed a laugh but continued the motion, only this time, his hand curved under my calf, forcing it up to hitch itself around his hip.

I officially stopped breathing then. This wasn't an experience I had been through previously, that much was evident but I didn't want it to end either. I just wanted the feeling forming in the pit of my stomach and now suddenly travelling to in between my legs to never end.

"Edward," I panted and he removed his hand from my mouth almost immediately.

"What is it?" he demanded. "Do you want me to stop? Is this going too far? I can stop if you need me to, Bella, I won't push you like he did."

The look of fear and complete care was evident in his beautiful green eyes. I could see the hesitation as he pulled away from me and I stopped him from moving any further when I saw the look of resignation in his sad eyes.

"Don't go," I pleaded, praying that my eyes showed how much I wanted him to continue. "I don't want you to stop, I just… I've never felt like this, Edward. I don't know what to do… just… take me through it. I don't want to disappoint you." I whispered the last part as I looked away, too embarrassed to see his reaction.

"Bella," Edward said, scolding me like a petulant child. "How on earth could you disappoint me? Just being here with you is good enough for me. Don't think any different."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

And then Edward leaned towards me again, resuming our make-out session, although he went at a much slower pace.

Having none of that, I did something I never thought I'd do. I pushed Edward down onto his back and rolled over until I was straddling his hips, my legs on both sides of him and my arms locked around his neck. I could feel his surprise through his kiss, could hear the gasp of breath he took before he finally responded the way I wanted him to. There was no hesitation in our touch now, like there was before; no fear and definitely no awkwardness. It felt completely natural to be this way with Edward and I loved every minute of it.

Edward rose into a sitting position with me still straddling his lap and deepened the kiss, our tongues tangling together, both fighting for dominance. The bottom half of his body rose just in time for me to roll my hips, grinding into him hard, eliciting moans from us both. My hand reached out instinctively to cover his mouth, just as his hand rose to my own. I giggled for a moment before we both realised what dangerous territory we were in. My parents were in the other room sleeping and could wake at any moment. Edward seemed to realise too as he began to slow his movement and pushed me off him, slowly, bathing in the feel of one another before we separated completely.

"I guess we should stop," he mumbled, the disappointment evident in his tone. I had to laugh at his devastation.

"I'm sorry," I bit down on my bottom lip.

"Don't be. Let's just blame your parents for cock blocking me," Edward smirked, running his hand across my cheek. I laughed lightly.

"Hey, they cock blocked me too, hot shot. They totally just ruined the best birthday present," I pouted.

"Don't worry. That was the pre-birthday present. You don't know nothing yet."

With that, Edward rose from the bed, kissed my forehead sweetly and climbed so fast out the window he came from that I couldn't even ask him to use the front door.

On Tuesday morning, I was all ready and packed for school when Edward knocked at my front door. I didn't tell my parents about the kiss we shared in school or the fact that Rob and I were alone together in the house on multiple occasions. It wasn't their business to know- sort of.

I said goodbye to my parents and literally ran out the door into Edward's waiting arms.

"Well, good morning to you too!" Edward chuckled in my ear, tightening his grip on me. I loved when he did that. It was the little things like that I enjoyed. I smiled as we pulled apart and started walking again. It wasn't until we were out of my estate that I stretched on my toes to kiss him. It was just a little peck, but when I pulled away, Edward's hands went to my waist once more, pulling me back to him to kiss me longer and harder. I giggled against his lips.

"What?" He smiled against me, eyes opening to look into mine. He was so beautiful up close like this.

"I just have a feeling today is going to be a good day," I told him and we continued walking on, holding hands.

The weather was getting much better, considering how cold I had been during the nights over the last few weeks. Thankfully, it was only mild and the sun was shining bright this morning. That was another sign that today was going to be good. And if I ran into Jessica, I would just ignore her, like the hundreds of times Edward told me to. We reached the school in time for the first bell and quickly sat down together in registration.

Our hands hadn't separated once during that time.

I guess you could say we got some looks of shock, horror and pure devastation from the students we passed and shared class with. The good thing about the teachers at our school was that they didn't care for teenage relationships and rather let the students show affection as long as the tongues were kept to a minimum. I was totally fine with that. I wasn't a huge fan of PDA anyway, to be quite honest.

After the roll call, the bell rang and everyone filed out of the room, heading to first class. I didn't realise I was holding my breath until Jessica, Angela and Lauren finally left the room. I let out a breath as soon as they left.

"Hey," Edward squeezed my hand. "Are you alright?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, let's just go to class."

The first few classes went by quickly without anything more than a few glances in the hallway from teenagers and smiles from teachers passing us by who spotted Edward and my hands entwined. It was kind of endearing how cute they thought we were. Maybe we did look like a good couple from the outside looking in. I sure felt like we were.

It wasn't until lunch when Edward suggested we eat in the canteen for once, considering the fact that he didn't want me leaving him, which an altercation occurred. Well, it wasn't really an altercation as much as an immature, jealous teenage girl trying to bully her way through life. Sitting alone together in the corner of the canteen with our lunch, Jessica and her two disciples walked towards us.

"Well, well, if it isn't Romeo and Juliet," Jessica snickered. "Finally declaring your love for one another, traipsing around the school just to show it? Or is Bella here just forcing your hand, Edward? I bet she paid you off just to make sure no one else in the school could have you. Or maybe she's just good at what she does and manipulated you into thinking you like her." I barely heard what Jess was saying for I was too busy looking at Edward's face. He looked calm enough, but I could have sworn I heard him growl under his breath.

"Oh, cat got your tongue Edward?" Jess pouted. "What about you, Bella? Are you too chicken to say something? I haven't forgotten about that little stunt you pulled here with me yesterday. Where's all that anger and frustration now, eh?" I bit my tongue hard, forcing myself not to say anything, and I was pretty sure Edward was fighting the same urge as me.

So I was pretty surprised when Angela was the one to speak next.

"Come on Jessica, I'm starving, let's just eat."

"I'm not done here!" Jess snarled. "Go eat with Lauren or something."

"No, just leave them alone, Jess, there's no point in this," Angela argued.

Jess turned to face her. "What do you mean by that?"

"I _mean _they're not worth it," she hissed. "Don't waste your time. They aren't going to talk."

"Since when have _you _got a voice?"

Angela scoffed. "I'm not your lap dog; I can say whatever the hell I want to say! I'm sick of you bullying Bella! It's like you totally forgot about the last few years of being her best friend!" Jessica just stared at Angela for a moment before turning back to me, eyes blazing in fury.

"I forgot about our friendship the moment Bella stabbed me in the back," she stated and began to walk away.

Fuck that.

"_I_ stabbed _you_ in the back?" I almost laughed, rising to my feet.

I felt Edward's hand on mine trying to pull me back down but I shook him off. We were attracting an audience, but I didn't care. I needed to say this. "I wasn't the one who spread rumours about my best friend. Besides, you only met that boy James or Jacob at the party. You were _dancing. _That's all there was to it. Anyway, he was so intoxicated he could barely walk!"

"But he sure wasn't drunk enough to rape you!" Jessica screamed, the whole canteen going quiet. Tears brimmed in my eyes but I forced them back, squeezing past the lump in my throat to talk.

"You were my best friend, Jessica! And you were so caught up in having a boyfriend and a social life that you turned away from me! I was almost raped! You wouldn't believe me, even though you clearly saw what was happening. You could have stood there and watched so long as you got that boy in the end! Of all the people I thought wouldn't change, you were the first to go!"

"How dare you!" Jessica yelled back, though I could see how my words affected her.

"Bella, come back to me." I heard Edward whisper in my ear, his arms wrapping around my waist.

"You left me when I needed you the most, Jess," I whispered, not wanting the whole school to hear this part, as a silent tear fell down my cheek. "I couldn't sleep for weeks; I kept dreaming of that night; how you left and how he… tried to…" I cleared my throat and carried on. "You were my best friend. And for you to torture me like this day after day for a boy who still hasn't given you the time of day… I just can't understand it. Has James even tried talking or calling you since that night? I know you gave him your number. Who would you rather Jessica, a boy who would take advantage of you at any given moment, or a friend who would give her own life for you? Because I'm tired of trying; I've given up the will to fight for you and the only person who is really helping me now is Edward and I've only known him for so long. He means so much to me and with you trying to tear us apart… it's not going to help my healing process. So please just… stop this."

I wiped the tears away and sat back down with Edward, not bothering to leave and recollect myself. I was done with leaving. I was done with crying. In my peripheral I saw Jessica leave the canteen completely, although Angela and Lauren wavered a little until finally Angela sat down in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Bella," her voice broke on my name. I looked up in shock and saw the tears in her eyes. She really did look sorry.

"Bella, if you want to leave, just say the words," Edward told me. I smiled softly.

"I'm okay, thank you. And before you complain… I'm sorry for the whole dramatic scene." He laughed, running his hand across my cheek, gazing into my eyes.

"Don't worry about it, beautiful," he murmured softly.

"Oh my God, you guys are so fucking cute!" Lauren gushed. Angela rolled her eyes at her.

Edward didn't seem to be enjoying this situation at all, so I asked both of the girls if they wanted to talk after school. They both agreed almost immediately. So that's what they did. After spending a few moments alone with Edward outside my home after school, I said goodbye just in time to see Angela and Lauren walking towards me.

"If you need me, _call _me," Edward warned for the hundredth time. "Ring off your mother's phone, although you really need to invest in your own, Bella. They are mighty useful." With a quick kiss, he was off and I was standing alone with my former best friends. It was awkward at first but once we got inside and said hello to my parents who were shocked to see their faces, we were alright. My parents were wondering why they hadn't the girls in so long.

Up in my room, we sat together on my bed in total silence.

Angela was the first to speak up. "Eh, I guess I should just start by saying how sorry I am- how we both are- We didn't know what really happened that night at Kate's… Jessica only said you ran off with the boy she was dancing with and that Mike was there too and you just blew him off. We were so upset that we didn't believe it at first. Then at school, Jessica spread the story like wildfire without us knowing, and I know that sounds like an excuse on our behalf but its true! When the rumours finally circled back to Lauren and I, we heard how you were accusing James of… rape and we were so scared for you! We didn't know whether to believe it or not because"-

"Why wouldn't you believe it?" I interrupted Angela, taken aback.

"W-what?" she stuttered.

"Why wouldn't you believe me? I was your best friend; we told one another everything and took each other's sides when we needed to. Why couldn't you do it then?"

"Because of Jessica!" Lauren defended, looking terrified. "With what she told us about that night, we thought the rumours had just gotten out of hand and twisted into some horror stories when they finally reached our ears. We couldn't stop it; we barely knew any of the details! And when we asked Jess, she just shrugged, saying you deserved what you got. We were so confused that we didn't know what to think!"

"Why couldn't you just come to me before believing the rumours?" I asked, not believing a word of it. "If you were so confused, why not follow the source and see if the evidence was true? Don't just assume everything you hear is true; that's how fights begin and that's how they can't be solved! I was here, _waiting_! I didn't leave you both, but you sure as hell left me alone in this! I had no one to talk to when this was happening! Everywhere I turned, people were judging me and calling me names. The only people I could confide in turned away from me without hearing my side of the story!

"And do _not _make excuses for yourselves saying that Jessica wouldn't let you see or talk to me, because that's some lame TV show bullshit. You're both your own person, you can make decisions for yourselves. You _could _have spoken to me, but you both chose not to, for reasons I can't understand. I guess you just wanted to follow the crowd of popularity instead of having true friends to count on. I'm sorry that you chose that path, because like I said in school… I'm done trying. I have Edward and it may not sound like much, but he's all I really need. He is more of a friend than you two will ever be. I'm sorry, but you both really need to leave now." I rose from the bed, silently praising myself for not tearing up and pointed to my door.

"Bella, I'm so sorry"-

"And I forgive you, Angela, but you need to leave." I truly did accept her apology. I could see how remorseful she was with the tears and hurt in her eyes.

Lauren was up next to speak. "Bella, how can you talk about assumptions when you just assumed how we felt during all of this?"-

"How can _I _just assume?" I repeated, anger boiling. "How can _I_? No one ever gave me a chance to explain things after that night in Kate's! No one, not even you! My own best friends turned away from me and believed the rumours circling the school, which were created by none other than Jessica. You _both _assumed I accused James/Jacob of attempted rape, you both _assumed _I was the new slut in town and you both _assumed _I would be alright without you as my best friends! I'm so sick and tired of being the bad person of the situation when really; it's you who sit back and watch the torture and bullying commence! So screw you both, because I'm going to _assume _you will get over this confession made by me and carry on with your lives being the big bullies you are. NOW GET OUT!"

"What is going on up here?" Of course, my mother would show up now.

The tears streamed down Angela's face as she rose from my bed, dragging Lauren with her. "Nothing, we were just leaving…"

Good riddance.

When I heard the front door slam from below, I finally broke down my barriers and fell to the floor, sobbing my heart out into the carpet.

"Bella, baby, what's wrong?" My mother cried. "What did they do to you?"

"Will you… I mean… C-can you ring E-Edward for me? He needs to c-come over n-now!"

"Alright baby, hang on… Charlie!" She called to my father. "Grab the number from the fridge door and call Edward, quickly!"

I wasn't really coherent after that, but I did know that I somehow ended up in my mother's arms on my bedroom floor, which were soon replaced by Edward's. I had to say, his were much more comforting. When my door closed, signalling my mother's departure, Edward started talking almost immediately.

"What did they do to you, babe?" I couldn't form words yet; I was so lost in my thoughts and tears to form any kind of sentence.

"I knew they were nothing but trouble from the moment I saw them. They try and mend something but end up breaking it all over again."

"I-I'm n-not broken, E-Edward," I choked out. "I'm j-just t-tainted."

"You're_ healing_," he told me, squeezing me tighter. "You've been through so much these past few weeks. So much to last you a whole lifetime and you didn't deserve any of it. Why do bad things always happen to good people?"

I don't know how long we spent there on the floor with me soaking his t-shirt, but it must have been quite some time because the room grew dark enough that Edward needed to rise to his feet to turn on the light. "Do you want to go to sleep, Bella?" he asked me. "It's not that comfortable on the floor."

"Look at you trying to get me into bed," I sniffled, finally calming down.

Edward laughed. "Come on you." He tucked me into bed like a child, which made me feel uncomfortable and he lay down next to me, above the covers.

"Why aren't you in the sheets?" I wondered. "Aren't you cold?"

He smiled. "I don't want your parents walking in on us in bed together."

"Ah, I see," I said, knowingly, remembering last night. My father took protective to another level when it came to me and boys. Not that he had much to worry about before Edward came along. "Can you put on some music?" I asked him.

He hopped out of bed and looked on my shelves for a good CD to play. "You have so much music. More than me and that's saying something!" His comment felt more like a compliment so that's how I took it.

"Oh, Kings of Leon's new album! I've been dying to listen to track five; people have told me it's awesome!"

"It is," I stated. Biased, but it was true. "It's my favourite song on the album."

Edward nodded and clicked play on the radio, joining me back on the bed. Track five began to play and I closed my eyes, lost in the music and Edward's embrace.

There are a few things in my life that I can truly say has affected me in ways others cannot explain. Take this song for instance. This song reaches deep down to my soul and squeezes as hard as it can until I finally give in… All I can do is close my eyes and feel the music all throughout my body. This song gives me a sense of tranquillity. The feelings are so specific and so pure that they are limited to a certain number of things. Like music and books, two things I cannot live without.

Halfway through the song, I asked Edward's opinion of it.

He frowned next to me. "I will withhold judgement until I hear the whole thing."

Wise choice.

When the song finally ended, he turned his head towards me, our noses touching at the tip.

I smiled. "For a boy who's afraid to be in bed with me, you sure are mighty close."

Edward ignored that comment completely as he spoke. "That song is perfect. I'm declaring it our song."

"Our song?" I repeated, loving how it sounded. He nodded against me, our noses rubbing, making me laugh.

"Yes, our song. I quite like it, don't you?"

"I love it," I promised.

Looking into his eyes, Edward leaned his head closer and kissed me softly. I kind of felt bad considering I was crying a few minutes ago and he had to deal with my blubbering mess, but he didn't seem to mind at all. We kept the kissing to a PG13 rating as it should be, much to my dismay, so when we heard the sounds of feet making their way up the stairs, we broke apart quickly and quietly, although we were breathing a little heavier than normal.

My mother didn't notice though. "Edward, honey, it's really late and too dark for you to walk home. I'll drive you now if you want," my Ma offered.

Edward looked at me first before agreeing with a sigh. We both didn't want him to leave. "I'll be here bright and early in the morning for you, alright?" He murmured so only I could hear him. I smiled softly and nodded, saying my goodbyes as he left with my mother who was looking at us funny.

"Of course she was," I groaned. I closed my eyes the moment I heard the front door shut downstairs but it felt like only a few seconds later when I felt my mattress shift underneath me. My eyes flung open as my Dad lay down next to me, smiling a little.

"Are you okay now, Bella?" He asked. I nodded, still confused as to why he was here.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

_No. _

"Or at least talk to me about anything at all?"

_No thanks. _

"Could you just answer me one thing?"

I nodded, not wanting his efforts to try with me go to waste.

"That Edward boy… is he… making things better for you? Is spending time with him helping you get through whatever this is?" My lips curled into a half smile, which reminded me of Edward.

"Yes, he's helping a lot," I told my father. "And I'm okay really," I reassured him. "It's just a little teenage drama and all of that." I rolled my eyes as if it was no big deal and that I was just going through a phase, which I guess I really was. School was just another thing that prepared teenagers for life. But it shouldn't have to be so hard on certain people.

"Okay," my father blew out a gust of air. "But if you ever need to talk, your mother and I are here."

Then my Da kissed me on the forehead and got up to leave.

"Oh, Daddy," I began. "Can you buy me a phone, please? I've decided to give in to social society and communicate with others."

He chuckled. "The moment I get paid on Friday is the moment I buy you a new phone. Now get some sleep." And he left me in peace after that.

It was weird to see my father show so much concern for me. I'm not saying I've been neglected or ignored by him over the years; it's just that he usually left the hard things for my mother to figure out. He wasn't much of a crier and he definitely couldn't handle watching someone else cry so he just left all the worrying to my mother whilst he handled the fun things in life. I felt like I was more of an adult than he was. I fell asleep soon after that and when I woke up the next morning, so early that it was still dark out, my mouth tasted horrible and I quickly ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Afterwards, I went downstairs to make some breakfast. I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep once I was up and moving, so I might as well do something productive.

I saw the clock on the wall that read it was only six thirty in the morning. Sighing softly, I grabbed a bowel and made some cereal. Cheerio's were the best option at the moment. Sitting at the kitchen table, I remembered the times when my father used to go to work at this hour and I would get up with him and watch MTV every morning sitting on his lap before he would leave for work. My father is the one who influenced my style in music, and even to this day, he is as passionate about music as I am. It's a little memory of my father that I will always cherish.

The Cheerio's took longer to eat this time as the little round oats were playing "catch me if you can" with my spoon. I didn't understand why the remnants of my cereal didn't want to hop on up onto my spoon. It was inevitable really; I was going to eat them sooner or later. Clearing up and washing my bowel, I went back upstairs to get ready for school. I took my time in the bathroom, deciding I would make an effort today. I wanted to feel good _and _look good. I'm not implying that in order to feel good, I had to look good, but it does help boost my confidence and what not. I don't wear make-up just because everyone else does. I'm not trying to follow the crowd, I have my own style. I'm not so insecure that I feel the need to wear it every day, but I feel like it's a necessity whenever I'm going out. It helps to feel good when I know I look good on the outside.

Getting dressed into my ugly uniform, I straightened my hair, deciding I'd wear it down for once. I usually put it in a high ponytail as the long strands of my hair fell on my face whenever I did work and wrote in school. I guess it was a sign that I should stop trying so hard. A hairband was in need after that thought. I took my time with my make-up, applying my foundation, mascara, eye shadow, blusher and powder to set everything off. Since my hair was pulled back by the hairband and the wind wouldn't blow it into my face, I applied some lip gloss too.

It was seven thirty by the time I was officially done and that's when my mother woke up.

"Bella, are awake yet?!" she screamed from through the wall next to me. I was glad I woke up before her, as I didn't want to go through the horrible torture that was my mother ripping the bed sheets off my body in the morning.

"Yeah, I'm up!" I screamed back. And with how loud we were being, I'm sure my father was now too.

"Could you two _be _any louder?" I giggled at my father's grumbles and got up to find my shoes.

It was seven forty five by the time I made it back downstairs and I didn't want to wait around any longer for Edward to arrive, so I decided to leave the house early to knock for him instead.

"Does he live far, Bella, I don't want you late for school over a boy?" My mother said sternly when I told her where I was going.

"He's not _just_ a boy, Ma," I teased. "I'll see you later. If not, I have a key. Bye!" I made it to Edward's in a matter of ten minutes, and now I felt nervous. What if he wasn't awake yet? What if I knocked and I woke up his mother? Oh God, I didn't think this through…

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**A/N**

**Reviews are love, so please give me love! Thank you all once again! I will update whenever I can! **


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